THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES

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A WELL MADE REVENGE
By Ashraf Nahlous

GENRE: Thriller, Action
LOGLINE:

When a grieving father plants a bomb in a high-rise to punish the negotiator who failed to save his family, his escape backfires, trapping him inside. Forced to pose as a helpful bystander, he must guide that very negotiator to the device before it detonates, turning a revenge plot into a desperate struggle for redemption on both sides.

SYNOPSIS:

Jack, once a loving husband and father, now lives for vengeance after losing his family in a failed hostage negotiation. He meticulously plants a bomb in a busy Los Angeles high-rise, his target: Dan, the veteran negotiator whose decision-making led to the death of Jack’s wife and daughter.

With a 30-minute timer ticking down, Jack enters the elevator to make a clean escape. But his perfect plan falters when a sudden power glitch traps him inside the building he intended to destroy. Now panicked, Jack is forced to contact the police, posing as an innocent bystander with knowledge of the bomb’s location. His voice guides the bomb squad and Dan, the very man he blames, through a maze of corridors and service shafts. Every piece of guidance Jack gives is laced with taunts and revelations—he wants Dan to suffer emotionally, to face the old wound that never healed.

As the search for the bomb intensifies, Dan confronts the guilt and anguish he’s carried for years. Flashbacks reveal the heartbreaking standoff that cost Jack his family, showing how both men are haunted by the past. Meanwhile, Jack maneuvers through secret passages, remaining just out of reach. He ups the ante by revealing a hidden second trigger and insisting one person must stay behind to manually disarm the bomb.

With only seconds to spare, Dan volunteers himself. Prepared to sacrifice his life, he demonstrates the compassion and courage that eluded him before. Jack, rattled by Dan’s willingness to atone, hesitates. In a last-minute surge of conscience, Jack discloses a failsafe that can save everyone—including his intended victim.

The bomb is defused. As the police storm in, Jack accepts his arrest, and Dan watches him go, torn between sympathy and sorrow. In the aftermath, Dan pays quiet tribute to Jack’s lost family, and Jack, from a prison cell, finally releases his stranglehold on vengeance. Both men emerge changed, linked by a tragedy they’ll carry but no longer allow to define them.

Maurice Vaughan

Unique concept, Ashraf Nahlous!

"After planting a bomb in a high-rise, a grief-stricken man gets trapped in the same building and must guide the police to the device." I think you should go with that for your logline. You could save the other info for the synopsis and pitch. I suggest removing "same" though, and I suggest adding "before it detonates" to the end of the logline.

If you want to keep the negotiator in the logline, I suggest rewording "only to reveal that his true target is the negotiator who failed to save his family, triggering a harrowing race against time and a battle of wits between vengeance and redemption."

Ashraf Nahlous

Maurice Vaughan And again, Done, Leaving out the negotiator from the logline does feel cleaner and sharper, as you suggested. Thanks a lot Maurice!

Maurice Vaughan

Rated this logline

Maurice Vaughan

You're welcome, Ashraf Nahlous. I think this will be a hit. A grief-stricken gets trapped in a building with a bomb HE planted, and he has to help the police deactivate it.

I think the logline is fine as it is, but I thought about something after reading the logline again: After planting a bomb in a high-rise, a grief-stricken man gets trapped in the building and must guide the police to the device before it detonates and kills thousands (or however many people are in the building).

Tasha Lewis

Rated this logline

Ashraf Nahlous

Maurice Vaughan Another way to increase the stakes! thanks a lot

Charmane Wedderburn

Rated this logline

Ashraf Nahlous

Rated this logline

Maurice Vaughan

You're welcome, Ashraf Nahlous.

Nathaniel Baker

Rated this logline

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