THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES
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By Jaap Ruurd Feitsma
Rescuing a mysterious hitchhiker, injured on a desolated road, Richard stumbles upon the supernatural, when confronted by the true nature of his enigmatic passenger.
SYNOPSIS:
THIS IS NOT A SYNOPSIS
UPDATE: A revised version of the script has been uploaded.
Get in is a +- four minute short film about to go in development. I've written it with a specific well known British actor mind (hence the British English, not American English in the dialogue).
The 'poster' below is an AI placeholder for now.
The script is still a 1st draft. It will be re-written as the process of finding locations, the car, etc. goes along.
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Your concept is really cool, Jaap. I believe though it'd be better if the logline had only one paragraph, as in, 'When Richard picks up a mysterious hitchhiker, injured and stranded on a desolate road, he discovers that his wounds go deeper than he thought, unraveling secrets that blur the lines between reality and the supernatural, forcing Richard to confront his own past and the true nature of the enigmatic passenger.'
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Ah that's great advice, Marcos Fizzotti -- thank you! :)
EDIT: I adjusted it to what you set. It really is much better. In fact, I knew in general a logline is just one sentence and definitely one paragraph haha. Thanks again! Once we've made this, I'll let you know and I'll share some stills.
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You're very welcome, Jaap, glad to help. More advises will come.
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3 people like this
Hey, Jaap Ruurd Feitsma. This kinda reminds me of "Get Out" (and it's cool that your title is the opposite of "Get Out"), but I don't really understand what the story is about from your logline. And I think your logline needs to be shorter.
Here's a logline template that might help:
“After/when ______ (the inciting incident/the event that sets the plot in motion), a _______ (an adjective and the protagonist's position/role) tries to/attempts to/fights to/struggles to/strives to/sets out to/fights/battles/engages in/participates/competes/etc. _______ (goal of story) so/in order to ________ (stakes).”
The inciting incident can also be at the end of the logline: “A _______ (an adjective and the protagonist's position/role) tries to/attempts to/fights to/struggles to/strives to/sets out to/fights/battles/engages in/participates/competes/etc. _______ (goal of story) so/in order to ________ (stakes) after/when ______ (the inciting incident/the event that sets the plot in motion).”
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Thanks so much, Maurice Vaughan! The screenplay is there as well. I tend to agree with you, though. The logline is too long and and it stays (too) vague, story wise.
Because the script is short as well, I didn’t want to give away too much either.
Normally, for such a short that I can and will shoot in one or two days, I would not even write a logline :D Gear, Crew + cast is already in place, so to say :)
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You're welcome, Jaap Ruurd Feitsma. I'm looking forward to seeing this.
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Very happy to announce this short film is now in pre-production and that I have casted Mark Ryan (Transformers, Black Sails, The Prestige) as Richard :D
'Get in' IMDb Page: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt30887859/reference/
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UPDATE:
Hi all, a revised version of the screenplay has been uploaded, for those interested. I was planning on shooting it this month, but due to personal circumstances, I put everything on hold.
The producer is now back working on it :)
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