Among other myths, homophobic right-wingers say gay parents will inevitably turn their kids gay, right? Well, Bert and Martin are about to go on statewide TV to prove them wrong. The only problem: They're beginning to suspect all four of their kids are gay.

SYNOPSIS:

Among other myths, homophobic right-wingers say gay parents will inevitably turn their kids gay, right? Well, Bert and Martin are about to prove them wrong on a statewide TV special saluting the all-American Midwestern gay-parented family in the age of Mayor Pete. The only problem: They're beginning to suspect all four of their kids are gay.

Bert's long-suppressed dreams of TV fame are on the verge of coming true, and he’s genuinely worried about how his family will impact the future of marriage equality, and even beginning to fear that he and Martin somehow did do something wrong.

The solution? He will single-handedly whip these kids into shape by unlocking whatever inner heterosexual he can find in them!

Things go from bad to worse as Bert forces the youngest boy to attend a football game and escorts the oldest boy to a straight strip bar. He purchases a mountain of chick lit for his teenage daughter and takes his youngest girl doll shopping at the toy store—where she falls in love with a gigantic Uzi.

Except then Martin, a down-to-earth construction foreman who flunked Gay 101, and the kids, begin to fight back. When the network shows up in middle America a day early for a pre-interview, the family meltdown plays out like the dinner scene in THE BIRDCAGE.

And when they go ahead with the final shoot anyway, the kids, who as it turns out are not actually all gay, decide to give Bert what he claims to want and act so “normal” it’s nauseating, and Martin confesses that the last few weeks, which have forced him out of the closet, have been some of the best of his life.

Bert caves and realizes that family and personal freedom are way more important than showbiz. But when the network goes ahead and airs the segment, it’s a big hit, with people across the country identifying with this LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE-style family: “They’re just like us. They’re all crazy, but they love each other, and that’s what matters.”

So by being politically incorrect, they actually end up advancing the movement.

And Bert gets to be a star after all.

THE NOT READY FOR PRIME TIME FAMILY came within a handful of scripts of being in the Top 20% of last year’s Nicholl Fellowships competition (more than 7,000 entries) and was a semifinalist for this year’s Stage 32 Comedy Contest. As well, it was a quarter-finalist for the BlueCat Screenplay Competition and the ScreenCraft Comedy Screenplay Contest.