Kate Uspenskaya: Script consultant in Moscow, Russia.

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The Ties That Bind Us: The Unspoken Truth Of Suicide Survivors

There are many individuals that have contemplated taking their lives. Including me….

There are moments, when we realize how grateful we chose to live. I had to wake up this morning for a 7am doctors appointment. As I was driving I decided to take a moment to look at the sunrise.

This was a transformative experience for me. Not one person in sight, the silence of the frigid morning in Chicago. I live by the lake, getting out of my car I was breathless. The beauty of the sun reflecting off of the waves.

In this instant I felt emotion rush over me. I was taken over by the feeling that five years ago I was standing on the ravine by my old house. Ready to end it all, at the time it felt as the pain was to much to carry. I chose to live that day. In all honesty, that moment still haunts me.

If I had decided to jump I would have not been able to be where I am now. I do not speak of that day. Keeping the “secret” of how tormented I am with the reel in my mind of how one moment could have left behind a trail of sadness and loss for those who love me.

The tie that binds survivors of suicide, is a silent knot of a place in our lives when things felt dark. The moment we had to make the choice to live or die.

I think what is so profound, we continue to go on with our lives doing daily routines. Talking with friends, caring for children, being present in our relationships, going to work. Pretending as if that one moment did not affect the individuals that we have become now.

Not one person can understand what it is to be a suicide survivor unless you are one. Researching, studying, specializing in the topic does not give you the emotions of what a survivor has to live with the rest of their lives.

I chose to live that day because I had more life to live. That was the easy way out, which is not an option. Working through the pain is the only option.

Watching the sunrise this morning I felt gratitude for my life on this earth. Taking that moment to realize, giving myself the chance to survive was a gift. A gift I will be forever grateful for…. From the time I was a small child I always knew my purpose was to help people.

Every word I have written in my memoir, The Darkness Within about my struggles with my mental health. I know it will help so many, who like me have struggled in silence for so long.

Suicide is never an option. For those survivors like myself I am proud of you, for choosing to fight, to live more life to bring light to those in this world. We are all bound by hope and strength.

If you or someone you know is feeling suicidal please call- 988 The Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Emergency Number.

Your life is worth it, and so was mine.

#youarenotalone 

#mentalhealthmatters 

#suicideprevention 

Hello Kate. Best to you with your writing.

Hello everyone! I am Kate, I currently live in Russia. I have higher education, studied social and psychological sciences. I would like to start my career in acting and screenwriting. I would be glad to hear any offers and fresh ideas. I have a 9 year old daughter, who is very beautiful and has a fine voice. I would like to involve her into the sphere of movies and singing. Don't want her talent to be wasted. Anyone who can help or has offers for us, please inform me. I am searching for a job now, in this industry as well, must say I have small experience in it, but I am ready to learn, to make new starts. Thank you for your attention, best wishes to everyone!

Hi Kate. I'm RB, Founder and CEO of Stage 32. As a screenwriter, producer, actor and filmmaker, I know first-hand the challenges all creatives face finding work, landing representation, launching projects, securing funding and simply making the connections that will make a difference in their careers. That's why I created Stage 32. Since our launch in September of 2011, the community has grown to 325,000+ members representing every country on the planet making Stage 32 the social network uniquely populated with the most creative people on Earth.

This is a network for you, built by you. Like most things in life, the more you participate, the greater the rewards. We ask all new members to pay it forward by inviting 5 fellow creatives to the network and by spreading the word of Stage 32 through other social media sites such as Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter. The more creatives, the stronger the network. The stronger the network, the more opportunities.

Thanks for joining the movement and for being a part of this most talented and inspiring community. I very much look forward to your contributions.

Thanks, and have a creative day!

RB

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