THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES
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REDLINE
By Alain Leccia
In a distant future, a young pilot must win a deadly space race to save his father from slavery and win a big check along the way.
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I like the concept, Alain Leccia, but I think the logline is generic. Your logline needs something to make it pop. Here's three suggestions:
Is there something unique about the future? If so, you could put that in the logline instead of "distant future."
Change "young" to "_______ (an adjective that describes the pilot's personality)."
You could tell who/what he has to save his father from.
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