The largest Bitcoin transfer in history is accidentally sent to the wrong account resulting in mayhem involving two warring Russian crooks, the British spy agency, Britta the beautiful barrista and carefree Joe, unaware of the millions that landed in his wallet and the trouble coming with it.

SYNOPSIS:

Mint – An outline for a motion picture by Fraser Scott

Jo, a scruffy tech head, walks into the Double Muffin coffee shop in Prague where Britta, the hottest barista you ever saw, hardly notices him while she pours him a mint tea and serves his mint muffin. He coolly tries to pay for it by BitCoin but has insufficient funds and walks away without the tea or his pride. Roman and Leonard are a Russian team of Internet scammers but someone sent both of them the content of each other's emails and they fall out over their own double crossing. Roman decides to empty their joint account into a BitCoin account, which he has just seen advertised in his favourite paper, and escape to London. Leonard, who is spying on Roman, plots to intercept him in London and take the Bit Coin account for himself. GCHQ have tracked these two for years to catch and jail them; in fact it was them who sent Roman and Leonard each other's email accounts to cause their row and who planted the idea of BitCoins as the method for Roman to transfer the money. GCHQ plan to catch them both red-handed in London and grab the money for Her Majesty's Revenue. Roman hates everything and everyone apart from his pedigree Persian cat with its diamond necklace and taste for caviar. It sits on his desk as he strokes it, promising it unlimited luxury in their new life in London as he meticulously quadruple checks every digit in his BitCoin transfer. Unlike traditional banks, if he sends the money to one wrong digit the money is lost forever. As he re-checks the entire forty digit code, before he enters the last digit, his cat rubs against him warmly and he roughly rubs its back in his huge hands - the cat lifts up its spine in pleasure and Roman almost smiles and returns to checking his code. Once Roman removes his hands from its spine the cat opens its eyes wide as if shocked, jumps on his keyboard and presses X and SEND which transfers the entire £150,000,000 to an unknown account. Roman can't believe it and neither can Leonard. They both investigate the BitCoin address where the money was sent but all they find is that address bought a mint tea and muffin from the Double Muffin cafe in Prague most Tuesdays and Thursdays at 1 pm for 11 months until a month ago when it stopped and hasn't been used since. Roman starts up his private plane and begrudgingly takes his cat, who is blissfully unaware of the trouble he's caused and who Roman is now psychotically conflicted about - it's the only thing he's loved and it destroyed everything he has. He heads to Prague, where Leonard follows him and where GCHQ follow them both. GCHQ can see not only see where the account the £150,000,000 was sent to spent it's muffin money every week, but who owns the account, where they are and what they’re doing, which is surprisingly mundane and clean for someone who just became so filthy rich - Jo is sitting in the Mila coffee shop across town from the Double Muffin cafe, typing on his cheap computer and making use of the All You Can Drink mint tea on special offer. Roman turns up at the Double Muffin cafe, grabs Britta the beautiful barista away from the iPhone she’s glued to, by the throat, and demands to know who drank mint tea and a muffin there every Thursday for a year until a month ago. Britta doesn't know because she just started work a month back. Furious and disbelieving, Roman takes up camp in the muffin shop, staring down every customer who comes in and interrogating anyone who orders mint tea about whether they like mint muffins, until they cry they must believe him they don't like mint muffins, to which he sits back down again, much to the upset and confusion of the customers. That evening when the barista shuts up shop and finally breathes a sigh of relief to get away from mad Roman, as she walks along checking her Instagram she’s bundled into the back of a van by Leonard's mob and interrogated within an inch of her life about this damn mysterious man and his mint tea and muffin. Britta still doesn't know who he is but Leonard thinks the muffin shop is a mob front and hangs her from the top of a cathedral to find out which family owns the money laundering café. No matter how hard they shake her she insists the only family that owns it is her great aunt and she never does her laundry! Frustrated, Leonard lets her go, confused, shaken and dreading the mysterious mint tea drinker and muffin eater coming into the café the next day. When Britta opens up the next morning the world's financial press greet her, trying to interview her about who the mint tea drinker and muffin eater is who received the largest BitCoin transfer of all time. She avoids them to do her work, thinking nothing else could go wrong, until Roman shows up, trying to hide from the press (who don’t notice him), but himself camped out waiting for the first mint tea and muffin to be ordered. Leonard's goons and GCHQ's spies also stand out like muscly sore thumbs- sharp suits and sun glasses in this bohemian café, all eyes on the counter. GCHQ's spies try and hook up a conversation with Roman, the hateful brute. He ignores them and tries to take solace in stroking his cat, but every time it purrs he remembers it got him in this mess and tosses it aside. Eventually GCHQ half crack Roman by talking among themselves loudly about a tip off that the mint tea drinker is down the road drinking Two For One Tea. Eventually Roman gets information from one of them the only way he understands – violence. In the toilet he pummels the spy until he coughs up the info he'd been freely trying to give him for hours - the whereabouts of Jo. Roman whispers to his cat that it's time they leave for the cafe across town, which they do, Leonard's men in tow. At exactly the same time Jo, sitting at his lap top, sadly drinks up the last of his mint tea and, noticing that the Two For One offer has gone, after plucking courage from his Nerds Guide To Dating Beautiful Women book, walks out the Mila café, and straight into Roman on the street in a war path. Roman barges Jo out of the way, leaving him ruffled and annoyed, when all Leonard's men stampede him into the pavement. Jo walks to the Muffin cafe, sees Britta looking beautiful,.. and walks right past. The cameras ignore him but GCHQ can't believe their eyes - what's he doing there when they've sent Roman and Leonard across town for him?! Half GCHQ head to the Mila café as Jo walks back and forward in front of the Double Muffin, trying to dare to walk in. Britta sees him walk past a few times and their eyes meet, at which point he pretends he was casually walking by for the first time and strolls up to the counter, sparking the world press’ interest. GCHQ arrive at the Mila café where Leonard's goons are watching from outside as Roman throttles another barista to find who’s been drinking Two For One mint tea. The café’s packed and half of the people have remnants of mint tea on their tables so he can't help him. The spy who gave Roman the information that Jo was there gets pushed in the café by the other terrified spies and Roman launches at him - where's this mint tea drinker?? The spy says he's at the Double Muffin to which Roman explodes, beats the hell out of the already beaten spy, and rushes back there. Jo approaches the Muffin cafe counter with his tail between his legs and orders a mint tea, to which the tension in the room could be cut with a knife. Jo finds this really strange as he looks at the new muffin specials as the entire room looks at him. When he orders a mint muffin Britta's mouth drops, which makes Jo think she's really impressed by his choice, when suddenly all the TV cameras in the room are on him. The TV crews ask - who is he, what's his financial background and why did he choose to do the transaction in BitCoins? Jo is confused, thinking they’re asking why he’s buying his tea and muffins in BitCoins, so he answers his name is Jo, his financial background mainly consists of getting cut price deals on tea, and he’d like to do the transaction in BitCoins but he doesn’t have enough in his account to get what he wants. As he says this he tosses over a few coins onto the counter. Roman returns to see Jo being interviewed by TV cameras with Britta giving him love heart eyes and has to physically hold himself back from barging in and beating him into the floor. The journalists can't imagine what kind of tea plantation billionaire thinks £150m isn’t enough money to get what he wants and ask him directly how he feels to be the first man to receive over a hundred million pounds in BitCoins. Britta does find this impressive but it baffles Jo, though he can’t bring himself to deny it which might ruin the look on Britta’s face, muttering something about it feeling kind of cool. Jo basks in the attention of the cameras and Britta while Roman and Leonard’s goons curl their fists in rage but can’t do anything while the press are there. Jo gets Britta’s number and they agree they’ll do something that night before Jo leaves the café suddenly on his Vespa into the crowds and small streets where he escapes Roman, unaware he’s even following him. Jo calls Britta that evening to take her out, somewhere in town where all the cool kids hang out. Britta puts on her best clothes and jewellery, telling her girlfriend about Jo the millionaire. As GCHQ listen in, she wonders if he’ll bring a limo or blacked out Mercedes. Jo turns up in his scruffy clothes, on a Vespa. Britta bitterly climbs on uncomfortably in her sweetest little black dress and puts the helmet on, messing up her curled and conditioned hair. On the ride Britta looks where Jo is taking her, which is starting to leave the nicer part of town towards the more edgy side, and asks places where it might be. She drops names of the newest fashion and art-world hang outs, all of which Jo, feigning distaste, rebukes and keeps her in mystery as he weaves through the traffic. They are followed by Roman, who had followed Britta, Leonard who had followed Roman, and tracked by GCHQ who know where everyone is going before they do. Jo pulls up in a warehouse district, covered in graffiti and dirt and populated by bums and skateboarders. Britta is shocked but she asks Jo if it’s a new pop up restaurant like the one Madonna visited last time she was in town. Joe says it’s something like that and they walk up to a makeshift skate ramp in a disused warehouse and pull up wooden boxes which Britta has trouble maintaining her modesty on in her short black skirt. The place is full of rebel kids, artists and police, and Roman, again, stands out like a sore thumb and can’t take an action against Jo and Britta as they are surrounded by people. Britta isn’t happy and barely manages to socially smile as she asks when they’re going wherever he’s taking her to eat. Jo apologises and walks her in the direction of uber cool pop up restaurants, and right past them to a hot dog stand where he orders and pays for himself. Britta is speechless and she fumbles in her hand bag for whatever coins she can scramble together to pay for a hot dog which may as well be a steaming dog turd for how she looks at it. Britta hides her uneaten hot dog inside an empty beer bottle as she tries to talk about his BitCoins millions, to which he changes the subject to a series of topics she increasingly has no interest in or repulsion for. As a method of distracting her from BitCoins, Jo takes her on a walk around the Arts District – they head towards places where no people are, which makes Roman’s interest perk up, but when Britta asks about the BritCoins, he changes direction to distract her, instead heading towards activities or events where there are people everywhere. After a while of Jo taking Britta to all these fun, weird and wild places, she starts to melt and warm to him, which he notices and finally takes her to a quiet place to try and kiss her. Just as he has her all alone and leans in for the kiss, Roman jumps on the pair with ferocity and beats Jo to discover the whereabouts of his Bit Coin key. Jo has to admit he has no idea where it is and he made the whole thing up to impress Britta, which totally un-impresses her. Roman doesn’t believe a word Jo says and pummels him to give up the key, to which Jo tells him he can search his room and his computer, but he lost the key last month after he embarrassingly ran out of money and that’s why he stopped going to the Muffin café. He says if Roman can find the key he’s welcome to it, but he has no idea where it is. Roman grabs him and Britta and throws them in his van which he drives like a mad man to Jo’s tiny rented room. Roman ransacks Jo’s room as he and Britta watch on, Britta giving hateful eyes to Jo who looks more upset at losing her affection than all of his possessions being destroyed. GCHQ listen in, all the time cursing that the money is lost because if Roman doesn’t have the money in London they can’t arrest him. GCHQ know exactly what the code is to get the money, but none of the ways they think of to give Roman the code seem to make any sense or are sure to raise his suspicion so they don’t dare try them. Roman has searched every corner of the room and Jo’s computers and starts to go crazy with violent threats and actions. If Roman hurts Jo and Britta while they are under GCHQ surveillance they’ll have all hell to pay, so when Roman pulls out his gun, all considerations of subtlety are forgotten and the spy that Roman beat the hell out of earlier gets pushed through the window into Jo’s room and, to Roman’s complete surprise, picks himself off the floor, dusts himself down, puts his hands in the air and tells Roman he has the Bit Coin account number he is looking for. Everyone in the room is totally confused (Britta fiddles nervously with her iPhone) but the spy tells Roman to grab a pen and he’ll give him it. Roman grabs a pen and he says out loud the code and then jumps back through the smashed window and runs into the bushes before anyone has any clue what’s going on. Roman types the Bit Coin code into his computer while Jo grabs Britta and they also sneak out of the broken window. All the money is in the account which Roman grunts approval at, and then lifts his head from the computer to see the room is empty, which makes him smash his fist down and destroy the table his cat is sitting on. Roman grabs his cat, the code and gets in his van which he drives at ridiculous speeds through Prague to the airport, getting into chases and shoot outs with the police which lead to what seems like will be a dramatic collision with a police car until finally GCHQ avoids it by desperately getting the Czech Police to retreat. Roman makes it into the clear and the final stretch for the airport when Leonard and his goons crash full speed side on into his van, knocking him out. They reach into the crashed car in what they convince passers-by is to help, but is actually them taking the Bit Coin code and then heading themselves to the airport. GCHQ decide that if they get Leonard in London with the account it’s almost the same as Roman so they allow him to board his private jet and take off for the UK. Upon reaching the UK Leonard and his men are arrested, much to their protests that they have nothing with them that they can be incriminated for - no drugs or money so what charges have they got? With their hands cuffed behind their backs the GCHQ spy reaches into Leonard’s pocket and takes out they key. They take him into a room for questioning and he tries his hardest to deny their accusations, saying the BitCoin is meaningless and just a little joke currency to which GCHQ pull out their computer to show him all the money he has - but the account is empty. Roman comes to in an ambulance on the way to a Czech Hospital, smashes the door open and escapes to a small internet café on the side of the road which he sits down in, covered in blood. He scrolls in despair through the Bit Coin transaction list and sees that the £150m has now been sent to a new account, one that buys a chocolate mint muffin from the Double Mint café at the end of every day for the last month. He steals the owner of the café’s car and bleeds his way to the café. Leonard meanwhile is boarding his jet on the way back to Prague with his goons and sticking his fingers up at GCHQ who have their heads in their hands because they are powerless to stop him leaving as he doesn’t have the money. Roman screeches up at the café in the battered car, falling out covered in blood, much to the disgusted disinterest of the world’s press who are camped store outside the café which is inexplicably still closed at mid-day. Roman desperately tries to avoid the press seeing him, although they don’t actually care because all their commentary is on a barrage of more and more ridiculous questions as to why the £150m has now been sent to this mystery chocolate mint muffin eater. GCHQ monitor Roman, unconvincingly hiding in some bushes across the street from the press who aren’t interested in him, as they also monitor Britta, who has the £150m in BitCoins because she iPhone recorded the code the GCHQ spy read out to Roman and transferred the money when Leonard was in the air to London. Britta has packed up all her worldly possessions and booked, GCHQ consider strangely, two plane tickets to Switzerland later that evening. Jo is bemusedly broken about the entire situation - at a loss over the loss of the money he had but never saw and the girl he won the heart of but never kissed. He sits at the other café across town, drowning his sorrows in more Two For One Mint Tea. Britta takes off from her flat in a cab, for what GCHQ believe must be the airport. They plan to intercept her there and drop her off to Roman so he can take her key, but she pulls off the road that leads to the airport and instead pulls up at the café Jo is sitting in. They sit and talk and she asks him why he lied to her about the money and he explains that he thought she was impressed by the money and she shouts at him for thinking she is so shallow (which GCHQ who are listening in through his laptop laugh at because that’s exactly what she was impressed by) and he apologises and they chat and end up laughing at the whole situation and having a nice time together. Jo asks her if a broke guy like him has a chance with her and she looks downwards and sadly tells him no way which breaks his heart. But she asks him to come to the Double Muffin café because she has a farewell gift for him. With a heavy heart Jo goes with Britta to the café just fifteen minutes before the end of the day. They pull up the shutters in front of the world’s press and Roman. TheTV crews go into a frenzy with questions Britta calmly ignores as she goes behind the counter, pours a coffee, takes her hidden BitCoin key from the till and puts it in a chocolate mint muffin which she gives to Jo, telling him he’s not some broke guy now. The world media goes crazy at him again - who is he and why did he transfer the £150m to her and who is she and why did she just give it all back to him??? Roman, in his disorientated state is having a hard time convincing himself of any good reason not to kill them both in front of the cameras. He decides that there is no good reason, gets out from behind the plant, furiously crosses the street and is about to enter the café when up turns Leonard and all hell breaks loose between them. Shouting becomes fist fighting which becomes threats with guns, all of which allows Jo to sneak out of the café and escape on his Vespa. Roman and Leonard see Jo escape and try and chase after him but it’s too late. Furious, they realise they are on the same side and someone must be playing them against each other which makes them even more furious and decide to team up to get Jo. They race back to the café where Britta is locking up and follow her home and spy on her getting dressed up. Jo picks her up in a blacked out Mercedes limo and takes her to the most expensive restaurant in Prague, which the media catches wind of and camp outside. Leonard and Roman put on bad disguises and sit at tables on the other side of the restaurant waiting for an opportune moment to pounce on them. Jo and Britta seem to fall in love with each other over dinner, commenting they feel it’s as if they’ve known each other for years. Jo reaches across the table and they share their first kiss. Jo goes to the toilet where Roman and Leonard jump him, rough him up and take his Bit Coin key. While still in the toilet they check all the money is still in the account and find it is. Jo picks himself up from the toilet floor, sits himself back down at the dinner table and has to ask Britta if she can pay for dinner because he’s just lost the £150m, again. As soon as they get to their van, Roman, with his cat on his lap, asks Leonard for the key to his BitCoin account, which Leonard tells him. Roman sends all the money to that account so that Jo and Britta can’t take it with their key. They commit the new key to memory - half in Roman’s mind and half in Leonard’s, so that GCHQ have no evidence to hang them on. Finally Roman and Leonard feel they safely have their money and GCHQ think they may actually get their men because they have the ability to record Leonard and Roman through their lap tops so have a voice file of them committing the key to memory. They board a private plane to London together, crack out the champagne and black label vodka and get drunk on their flight as Roman feeds his cat caviar and finally forgives it. On their arrival, as they exit the plane in drunken celebratory spirits, they are arrested. This time as the money is in the account when they are booked in at Scotland Yard, they can be charged with money laundering and fraud. GCHQ drop their tails from Jo and Britta who they believe are obviously innocent citizens who were caught up in this. Once GCHQ have processed the form to book in Leonard and Roman they go to seize the BitCoins for Her Majesty’s Revenue, but the money is all gone. GCHQ rush to the Bit Coin register and find £148m has been transferred to a Bit Coin torrent that spreads the coins to a list of 1,000 victims of Leonard and Roman’s scams. The remaining £2m has been sent to 2 anonymous, never before used, BitCoin accounts which even GCHQ can’t trace the owners of because they were opened at public computers in the Double Muffin Café a year ago. A few days later Roman’s cat, who has been quietly spending its days in the police pound, is picked up for its multi diamond necklace to be re-appropriated for Her Majesty’s Revenue. As the assistant tries to detach its necklace the cat scratches him and does and amazing series of acrobatic feats to escape the pound. GCHQ try in vain to follow reports of a cat stowing away in the wheel arch of a plane on the way to Switzerland. The cat, necklace and all, strolls into a café in Switzerland where Jo scoops it up onto the table next to his lap top. On the lap top screen is the cat’s view of the world through a camera in the diamond necklace. Jo presses a ‘sit’ button on the computer and the cat sits. He moves the mouse upwards and the cats head moves upwards to view Britta on the laptop screen and record her voice as she says that it’s about time they disconnected this poor cat and let it control itself. On his lap top the screen shows her hands reach towards the cat and take off the diamond necklace, at which point the screen goes blank and the cat relaxes because its motor control systems are linked into a transmitting device in the necklace. They stroke the cat and then get up to leave. They pay for their mint tea and muffin by BitCoin - the only transaction ever registered on the two £1m accounts from Leonard and Roman’s money, which is spotted by GCHQ all too late to do anything, before the money is transferred to a Swiss account and forever out of the system’s reach. When GCHQ get to the café all they find is an old newspaper cutting telling of an elderly Swiss couple whose entire fortune was lost to an internet scam leaving them heartbroken and dying of heart attacks. The final note in the story in the paper was that the son of the couple, a prodigy in genetic engineering, and his beautiful girlfriend had also mysteriously disappeared at the same time.