I have made a few films (shorts), music videos and more. I have written much more than that (like everyone here). When I share my "stuff" with people and ask for "feedback" all I ever get is "I liked it" or "I thought it was great". I know I'm not Speilburg or Millius and I am sure I have a lot to l...
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Thanks James! We will definitely look at those. Cheryll might need a little more work I suppose. As far as Chuck is concerned, well, thats difficult because he becomes the mentor throughout the series...
Expand commentThanks James! We will definitely look at those. Cheryll might need a little more work I suppose. As far as Chuck is concerned, well, thats difficult because he becomes the mentor throughout the series for all things "supernatural". His relationship with her father was more than what's on the surface. Kind of a plot point for a future episode. We were trying to not give it all away at the beginning. He would be more akin to the character of "Bobby" in the TV show "Supernatural". I think we may look at trying to dial Cheryll in a little more as well. We thought we set up her "wild" tendencies already but I guess we didn't. This is the second time her character has been brought up so there must be more that needs to be done. Also, we were trying to tell the audience that there is no chance for Frank and Cheryll to have any "love interest" in each other and move on without looking back. We also wanted Cheryll to take on the masculine role that usually is not associated with the female characters while keeping it from being trashy. It's a fragile scene, at Frank's house, and we are trying to make a couple of points with it as well as "solve the case".
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Cool Paul, If I may, you give an example of what I mean by the writers deciding what they need to say as writers rather than the characters saying what they need, when you say: "Also, we were trying t...
Expand commentCool Paul, If I may, you give an example of what I mean by the writers deciding what they need to say as writers rather than the characters saying what they need, when you say: "Also, we were trying to tell the audience that there is no chance for Frank and Cheryll to have any "love interest" in each other and move on without looking back." By having Cheryll come on to Frank, you are actually putting in the audience's mind that there is a 'love interest' there. You do mention Cheryll's wild tendencies in what Nathan says. The thing is that it is in reference to the moment of her father's death. Anybody could do something wild at that moment. The scene at Frank's house has some nice moments, the glowing mushrooms for example. Let the characters tell you what they need and I think you'll find a different ending to the scene. Cheryll being the one who comes on to men without it being trashy is an interesting character. Not being trashy, usually means that she will be that way with the right guy (not that she won't make mistakes like we all do, of course). As to Chuck, I've never watched Supernatural so I don't know Bobby. What an actor needs to play Chuck is a sense of how Chuck relates to other people. Right now as an actor, I wouldn't get the sense of a mentor because he is so manipulative; he's all over the map emotionally. The fact that Frank doesn't seem to spot this is also strange given how smart Frank is. My suggestion would be to ask yourselves why does Chuck want to mentor Frank and Cheryll and then let him answer the question. The amazing thing that often happens when you ask the question that way is that the plot points will fill in themselves. Good luck!
Well, we had a big fight over frank and Cheryll (as writers do) Donald wanted them to have a relationship but I don't. I don't because that's what I hated about The X Files. Who says a man and woman c...
Expand commentWell, we had a big fight over frank and Cheryll (as writers do) Donald wanted them to have a relationship but I don't. I don't because that's what I hated about The X Files. Who says a man and woman can't just be colleuges! Lol. I know why chuck was manipulative. He knew about the bad guy and had a sneaking suspicion of the other murders. Maybe we should write that in.
Regarding Paul's original question, 'When is feedback not actually useful?', I have some thoughts. (I've traded notes with writers on scripts, written coverage, etc.). First, I think it is fair to sim...
Expand commentRegarding Paul's original question, 'When is feedback not actually useful?', I have some thoughts. (I've traded notes with writers on scripts, written coverage, etc.). First, I think it is fair to simply say 'This is what I liked.' followed by your specific 'likes' and 'This is what I didn't like.' with the specifics. If the writer/film maker wants more and you want to do more, I think the first thing you have to do is figure out answers to two questions, 'What story is the writer/FM trying to tell?' and 'Can I, based on my skills and interest, help tell that particular story better?' If you can't these questions effectively, you politely decline to go further. And definitely decline to go further if it's just not a story which appeals to you personally, emotionally. (Obviously, this last thought does not apply to paid consultants who have to dive in and do their best whether they like the story or not.) Assuming you can help, I'd offer particular suggestions which the writer/FM can consider. You like a character but you disagree with an important particular choice which the character made or you like certain scenes but one or more may better placed (that is, there's a problem with story structure.) or.... Finally, I think that good notes are rare, even from paid consultants. If you want criticism of your work, you plunge in and take your chances. In my view, your best chance is to get notes from either working screenwriters or working film makers, who, of course, do guard their time carefully. Good luck.