When a crazed waitress seeks revenge on Stoners who failed to tip adequately for many years, an inexperienced Police Officer must step up his detective skills before more innocent citizens fall prey to the Slash and Burn Serial Killer.  [In partnership with Emerald Pyramid Pictures; Matt Sly and Warren L. Madden]

SYNOPSIS:

OFFICER JASON O’LEARY (35) has failed the Detective Exam three years running, mainly due to lack of experience in his small rural town. That’s about to change as FLOSSIE MAY MANSON (30s-40s), the town diner’s rude waitress, goes on a killing spree targeting lousy tippers. High on the list, so to speak, are four “Stoners” including Jason’s younger brother, RICKY (33), JOSÉ (30), a stocky unshaven Mexican, DESHAUN (28), an overly dramatic African-American, and RAINA (26), a wildly beautiful voice-of-reason. The Stoners are funny, irreverent, and doing everything they can to forestall adulthood.

Flossie’s killing spree gets off on the wrong foot after the town’s young, enthusiastic preacher, PASTOR MIKE (30s) borrows Ricky’s hoodie and skateboard and is mistakenly shot with a crossbow, stabbed five times, and burned with a napalm bomb meant for Ricky. Jason’s investigation doesn’t go well, as Flossie seems to have a perfect alibi, and suspects are few. Flossie’s second “Slash and Burn” attack is aimed at Raina, but Flossie mistakenly kills Councilwoman Lamb (70s), also the town’s pharmacist. Next, Vic the plumber is mistaken for José, who should have been unclogging toilets for Vic, but called in sick. Crispy-critter bodies are mounting up for the town’s bizarre, pansexual coroner, DR. JUANITA SANCHEZ (30), who offers comical and unhelpful advice to Jason. In fact, throughout the entire story, laughter and bloodshed are evenly mixed.

Evidence weakly points to the diner’s cook, MAX SIMPSON (45), a muscular former U.S. Marine with bomb squad and special forces training. Max has solid alibis, but a criminal record for breaking the weirdest laws in several states. Meanwhile, Jason gravitates to his ex-girlfriend, Raina, who helps on the case. Still, the Mayor and Chief of Police call in AGENT COLT GANNON (40s) of the FBI, an inept blowhard, to take over Jason’s unsolved case. Soon after, the Mayor and Chief of Police are the targets of Flossie’s remote-control cheese-knife and napalm bomb, and Agent Gannon decides Max is guilty for fitting the stereotypic serial killer profile: white, male, ex-con, and possibly vegan. Flossie has committed the perfect murders.

Jason finds no evidence that Max is guilty, and his suspicions circle back to Flossie. When Agent Gannon is killed, Jason uses his wits and improved detective skills to save his girlfriend, his brother and his friends. He investigates the diner as the staging area of the killings. He rules out Max with phone records, and methodically re-traces the killer’s steps leading him to Flossie. The trap is set, and Jason, with a little help from Max and his Stoner friends, captures Flossie, saves the town from the now famous “Slash and Burn Serial Killer,” and finally becomes a Detective.

SHORT ORDER BUZZ KILL