THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES
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THE DRESS
By Amanda Jane Stern
At a wedding dress appointment, a queer woman finds herself spiraling as she pushes back against her mother's rigid expectations encroaching on her sense of self.
THE DRESS
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2 people like this
I like the structure of your logline, Amanda Jane Stern, but maybe make it more Horror. I read your logline without seeing that it was a Horror script, and I thought it was a Romance Drama.
Rated this logline
1 person likes this
The new logline matches the genre better, Amanda Jane Stern.
Three suggestions:
Change "a young" to "a ___________ (the main adjective of her personality/that she shows in the story)."
Change "as she tries to push back against" to "as she pushes back against." I think "as she pushes back against" sounds better and it's less words.
I think "finds herself in a terrifying spiral" is vague. Maybe explain that in more detail.