THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES
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DON'T HIDE YOUR MADNESS
By Mehdi Javaherian
A young, love-smitten poet, who struggles to publish his Persian translation of Allen Ginsberg's Poetry, ponders his next moves when it comes time to be drafted into the Iranian Military.
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Dear Mehdi Javaherian:
"ponders his next moves" - If you update that, that could help people get more into what you are trying to portray. Pondering doesn't really give something for people to think about. The pondering part just doesn't get people there.
Good logline, I just think that one part needs a little updating.
God Bless.
Sincerely,
John German
Dear John German,
Thanks for the advice; I didn't think about that in that sense, and now that you are mentioning I understand. I should illustrate that part with new choices.
I'll be uploading a new one soon. I hope to get your feedback then, too.
Kind Regards and Love
Mehdi
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You gave me way too much love my friend on my loglines! :) Thanks for viewing them though. I love your logline. Well crafted.