THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES

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BEATEN SENSELESS
By Kai Martin

GENRE: Comedy
LOGLINE:

When his life falls apart, pushover insurance agent Andy becomes his own man by committing
insurance fraud with his estranged, deadbeat father, only to find out he has a taste for revenge.

SYNOPSIS:

A clock radio alarm goes off at 6:30AM, and insurance agent Andy Peterson enthusiastically rolls out

of bed and gets ready for work. Despite open hostility from his teenage kids Sam and Darcy, his

neighbor stealing his morning paper, and uninterested cheating wife Noreen, Andy is unflappable – it's

another day in Midwest suburban paradise. He admires his new backyard hammock through his

kitchen window, and is off to work.

When Andy gets to his office, he is called into his boss Stan's office right away. A review of all the

insurance claims was done, and it was found that many claims handled by Andy turned out to be

fraudulent. Andy contends they were all nice folks whom he gave benefit of the doubt, but is fired as a

“cost-cutting measure”. Later that day, Andy comes home only to get kicked out of his own house after

Noreen demands a divorce, admitting to having an affair with handyman and home builder Bill.

With no place left to go and no money for a hotel after Noreen had all the bank accounts frozen, Andy

is forced to turn to the last person he would ever depend on – his estranged, deadbeat father Ralph.

Over drinks, he enjoys Andy's tale of misery, but with some tough love, Ralph points out how everyone

in Andy's life has taken advantage and walked all over him. Andy vows for that to never happen again,

and Ralph suggests a perfect new way for Andy to assert himself – committing insurance fraud

together. Andy could finally be a “winner” and Ralph could get what he always wanted – an RV.

Andy and Ralph stage their first scam a convenient store. Before going in, Ralph gives an unsure Andy

a pep talk – all Andy has to do is covertly spill some water in the back of the store and pretend to have

slipped on it, hurting his back, and Ralph will do the rest. Andy asserts himself for the first time by

shooing away some loitering would-be-shoplifter teenagers, but is unable to get the attention of the

store owner after staging the fall. Ralph bursts in the save the day, and they manage to pull off the

scam, guilting the owner out of several hundred dollars by agreeing not to sue him for damages.

Despite being successful in their first endeavor together, Andy isn't as happy as he should be, but Ralph

insists they celebrate anyway.

They celebrate at a golf driving range, where Ralph enjoys some ice cream as he watches Andy hit

some balls, but something is not right with Andy. He wildly swings as hard as he can, sending balls

careening in every direction, grunting like a wild animal, and loudly swearing to himself. A casual

comment from Ralph about living well being the best revenge clicks something into place for Andy.

He suddenly realizes that revenge is what he really wants, and wants it against the people who hurt him

the most – his family. Ralph would prefer they stick to their small-time convenient store scam, but

Andy changes his mind with a scheme that will get Andy his revenge and still get Ralph his RV.

Andy and Ralph stage an accident where they cause a car driven by Darcy to rear-end Andy's car. After

the accident happens, the kids' mouths drop open when Andy stumbles out of his car, faking a serious

neck injury. A police officer arrives on the scene, and when the officer isn't looking, Andy plants a bag

of marijuana in the passenger seat of the kids' car. Since Darcy is driving on a learner's permit and Sam

is under 21, her permit is suspended for one year, and her phone is confiscated for texting while

driving. Sam is arrested for the marijuana, with intent to distribute, because of the amount and

proximity to a nearby school. EMTs arrive, and Andy is loaded into the back of an ambulance.

Andy emerges from the hospital ER, wearing a brand-new neck brace. Ralph picks him up, and they

go meet their lawyer, Dr. Connie Tran, to discuss filing a lawsuit against Noreen. It turns out that

Connie and her assistant Bernie are very familiar with Andy – they represented all the claimants who

committed fraud through Andy, and encouraged would-be-fraudsters to use Andy as their insurance

agent (which is why Andy came to her). After Andy reveals he's been fired, Connie is suspicious that

he's an undercover cop trying to incriminate her, and tells them to leave. Having come this far, Andy

doesn't give up – he strips to his underwear to show he's not wearing a wire, and gives an impassioned

speech. Impressed with his moxy, and she agrees to take the “case”, as well as Ralph out for a date.

After being served with a two-million dollar lawsuit, Noreen is furious. She calls Andy and puts him

on notice that she knows he and Ralph are up to something and they won't get away with it. With his

newfound confidence, Andy offers her a deal – let him have the house and he'll throw out the lawsuit

against her – and hangs up on her. Ralph calls Andy out for selfishly offering Noreen a deal that they

never discussed and would only benefit Andy himself. Andy reassures Ralph that he'll figure

something out, which satisfies Ralph for the moment, but he remains skeptical.

Andy goes in to his old office with Connie to answer questions from Stan about his large claim. A smug

Andy, with the help of Connie, deftly answers all of Stan's questions, but Stan smells a rat. After they

leave, Stan figures out that Connie represented all of the people who made fraudulent claims through

Andy. Noreen enlists Bill to help Stan with his investigation, and a security camera at one of Bill's job

sites is found to have damning video of Andy and Ralph's staged accident. With evidence in hand,

Stand and Bill go to Ralph's house to confront them. Stan makes them an offer – drop the lawsuit and

the insurance company will pay the maximum allowed by the policy, only a fraction of what they're

seeking. Stan and Bill admit feeling guilty about how they treated Andy, and make this offer as a peace

offering. Andy remains defiant, but Ralph secretly calls Connie. Andy wakes up the next day to find

that Ralph and Connie took the deal behind his back, when Ralph shows off his new RV. Ralph urges

Andy to take his share of the money to start his life over, and drives away, leaving Andy behind.

Now on his own, Andy begrudgingly makes the best of it by cleaning up Ralph's house. Andy stands in

the backyard, satisfied with a job well-done, but something is missing – a hammock to relax in. He

decides to go get the hammock from his old house, and finds that Noreen has put it on the market and is

having an open house today. She tells him Bill is building her a bigger, nicer house, and she's selling it

just to stick it to him. Andy finally snaps. He takes a chainsaw out of his neighbor's garage, and cuts

down the two trees in the backyard holding up the hammock. Still not satisfied, much to the horror of

Noreen and all the open house guests, Andy cuts down all of the trees in the backyard, one of which

falls on Noreen's foot, and a giant old oak tree, which accidentally falls on the house, destroying it.

An angry mob forms from the open house and chases a now-apologetic Andy down the street. Just

when the mob is about the catch him, Ralph's RV zooms in and Andy jumps in to save himself from the

mob. Ralph offers to help Andy escape, but Andy decides it is time to face what he has done and

doesn't want to bring Ralph down with him. Andy jumps out of the RV, and Ralph quickly drives off.

The police arrives, and Andy runs toward them for safety, away from the closing mob. The officers

think he is charging at them, so they taze Andy before arresting him and taking him away to jail.

Andy pleads guilty all charges, and before he is taken to jail he shares some final words with the court

and those in the gallery, including his family and Bill. He explains how he is now a changed man, no

longer a doormat and able to set proper boundaries with people, and is sentenced to eighteen months in

jail. Three months later, Ralph finally visits Andy in prison. Andy is excited to tell Ralph how well

setting proper boundaries is working for him in prison, and while Ralph is happy to hear it, he is

overcome with guilt from everything that happened with Andy, including abandoning him as a child.

Andy forgives him, but Ralph says he would feel a lot better if Andy could just kick him in the balls.

Twelve months later Andy leaves prison, where Ralph is waiting for him. They embrace, and Andy

gives him a hard kick in the balls, which Ralph greatly appreciates. They both climb aboard the RV

and ride off into the distance.

BEATEN SENSELESS

View screenplay
Nathaniel Baker

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