A quirky family led by their foul-mouthed mother races to find a buried fortune in the woods before a team of gangsters find them first. 

SYNOPSIS:

For some, the thought of a week-long backpacking trip with their family members sounds like hell (old school, Catholic hell), but the Kellers are different. If your mom was a foul-mouthed, human tornado of pure fun, you’d want to camp with her too.

MYRNA KELLER, matriarch and aforementioned tornado, is devastated that her oldest child BECKY, is about to leave for college. Determined to make the family’s annual deep-woods camping trip extra memorable, Myrna ramps her enthusiasm up to levels unknown, pulling her willing husband, CHARLES, and strange pre-teen son, TRACEY along for the ride.

Music. Games. Campfire saxophone recitals. Everything is going to plan, that is, until the family stumbles upon a handsome stranger that’s been beaten to a pulp and lashed to a tree. WADE EVANS, ex-accountant for the Viaquez Drug Cartel has hidden $100MM in the woods and offers his new friends an interesting proposition; turn around and leave before his cartel captors return to kill them all OR, cut him loose and help him to the other side of the forest where a truck and the money are waiting.

Myrna isn’t just fun, she’s a great mom; there’s no way she’s going to put her family in harm’s way… not even for Fifty MILLION Dollars. But Charles? Well, he’s a gambling addict and he decides that this is the most appropriate moment to tell his wife that they stand to lose their home, and most-likely his life, to the hands of his loan sharks. Torn, Myrna makes the difficult decision to accept Wade as an honorary Keller.

As they make their way through the woods, they’re followed by a trio of bumbling but ruthless cartel enforcers sworn to the service of their wicked, Golden Girl-esq leader, Senora Loren. The murderous Godmother of the Viaquez Drug Cartel orders her boys to stop at nothing until her money is safely back in Mexico and that double-crossing accountant, Wade, is dead.

With each run-in, the family and their new, adopted member grow closer together. Myrna isn’t sure if it’s her newfound distrust of Charles or something in the air that’s giving her strange feelings for the mysterious stranger, but she definitely has a sex dream about him and it’s a fucking HOOT.

An over-the-top game of cat and mouse is accented by three separate, culturally-appropriate standoffs and builds to a fabulous climax between a suburban mother of two and a merciless drug-peddling geriatric. In the end, Myrna, like so many mothers before her, saves the day.

CAMPING WITH THE CARTEL