A recovering party animal is visited by his haggard-looking future self who bears a message and dire warning for him on the night before his wedding: Do not get married!

SYNOPSIS:

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Tim Sparrow is a 39-year-old Paul Rudd-esque manchild with severe Peter Pan Syndrome. And while Tim might describe himself as a “recovering bachelor & party guy,” he’s actually found the woman of his dreams – Hannah. So after an extended engagement, it’s time for Tim to settle down and let this gal make an honest man out of him. The date is set, he’s meeting the goddamn parents, it’s finally gonna happen!

Two weeks before the wedding, all seems jubilant. But then, strange things begin to occur… Actions Tim did not commit are attributed to him. A trench-coated figure stalks Tim as he retrieves yogurts and cat-food for his lady from the corner bodega. Then Tim is randomly abducted by a grizzled Time-Cop eager for retirement – Frankie Riggs Callahan.

Tim awakens, bound to a chair in an abandoned Sizzler Steakhouse. Time-Agent Callahan interrogates him, using hologram mind-control technology and Tim’s love of old movies. Then Tim is rescued by the same hooded figure we saw following him earlier – and he escapes with this mysterious hero in a rickety 1989 Hyundai Excel…

Then the hooded savior reveals he is actually Tim from five years in the future. He has travelled back in time with stolen time-travel technology to stop his wedding before it occurs. Divorce is not good enough, the marriage has to never have happened! Yep, it was that bad.

Tim is shocked and skeptical of these claims made by a doppelgänger who has gained 40 pounds of beer-fat. Tim flees and returns to his West Village apartment, he even calls his long-estranged father to find out if he has any evil twin brothers he was never told about.

Finally, Future Tim is able to convince Tim that he is telling him the truth, by revealing private/sordid details from their youth, and taking him to a blue blood Time-Travel Club on the Upper East Side (from whom Future Tim stole this Time-Tablet). Tim believes he must scuttle his own wedding by any ridiculous means necessary. All the while, Time-Agent Callahan keeps trying to apprehend them, but (for some reason) ends up stranded in the time-stream with a malfunctioning Time-Tablet…

Then Tim learns the shocking truth: while you might think your best friend would basically be a copy of yourself, that person might also be your worst enemy. He might actually be a jerk, a real goddamn asshole. Because it isn’t Hannah who will screw up Tim’s marriage – it is (Future) Tim!

How will Tim solve this paradoxical conundrum, particularly since Time-Cop Callahan keeps returning to cause more havoc? You’ll have to read to find out. (OH! I forgot to mention that an alcoholic capuchin monkey liberated from the Central Park Zoo figures quite prominently in the plot. A major supporting character, actually…)