Interest comment, Aray.

There are three main story strands/protagonists in Picking Daisies: one that follows Chief Wheeler & his investigation; one that follows Mike’s vigilante approach to finding his missing sister; and another that follows the ‘picked Daisies’ and those responsible.

Goals? The Chief is investigating the missing girls, Mike is in search to get his sister back; the organisations goal... well now that would be telling.

What stands in the way? Each other but particularly Mike who is frustrated by the rules of the police department.

How would you suggest re-writing it?

Ooops, wasn’t sure if I could... and you can