When the suburban Mallard family stops for directions at the isolated country estate of the Sipinnit family, they join a celebration of the estate’s “peculiarities,” which include a talking cow and dancing corn, and risk becoming trapped as a permanent part of the estate’s population.

SYNOPSIS:

Cathy and Mack Mallard (early 40s) toast to their upcoming luxury vacation, lamenting that they’ll have to deal with their kids on a road trip, but since they can’t have everything, they must keep open minds to preserve their illusions. Back in their suburban home, the kids, Patricia (17) and Sean (12), are at war. Grandpa Feenus (early 70s), left to babysit as always, feels too old to cope. Cathy and Mack come home and sort out the chaos. The next day, thanks to a tip from a GPS, they’re on a backroad and feeling lost. They stop for directions at the isolated Sipinnit Estate. Taylor Sipinnit invites them in, introduces his kids, Manson (16) and the triplets (10), and explains that they are celebrating Grandma Sipinnit, who invested wisely during the 1800s. Patricia and Manson share an awkward spark. Taylor describes “The Four Stations of Grandma.” Reluctantly, the Mallards drink Grandma’s special wine.

The wine launches the Mallards on surreal journeys in “Grandma World.” Cathy, Mack, and Patricia navigate the Four Stations. Meanwhile, Sean follows the triplets to an underground lair where he can monitor his family. At the same time, Grandpa Feenus goes to the back yard abode of Gloria Sipinnit (80s), Taylor’s actual grandmother, and they enjoy roaring laughter and budding romance. At the first Station, a talking cow named Creamy Rich gives Cathy and Mack advice. At the second Station, the Mallards must solve nonsensical puzzles. The third Station requires participants to let the Tractor of Doom run over them (they’re unharmed). For the fourth Station, everyone enters a cornfield, where the corn sings and dances to a disco tune. Dancing, all the Mallards, Manson, and Gloria end up together, and Taylor calls them for an announcement: the Mallards may join the Sipinnit Estate permanently! The Mallards refuse. Taylor suggests leaving is deadly and offers them time to reconsider. Bubbles carry them to different parts of the house. Cathy and Mack, in front of a hallway mirror, are ducks while their reflections are human. Patricia chats with a moving statue. Sean plays a literal game of “the floor is lava,” which is awesome. After much quacking, the parents regain their true forms, and they find their kids. They realize they need to be a family team, and they prefer a compromise to an escape plan—they don’t want to abandon the Sipinnits.

They search for Taylor so they can discuss a compromise. Patricia has a private moment with Manson. Cathy, Mack, and Sean check Taylor’s bedroom, which inexplicably lacks gravity. Grandpa Feenus returns to Gloria, and Patricia and Manson find Taylor. Taylor guiltily tells the teens that the Mallards can leave whenever they feel safe to drive. Soon, everyone gathers at the front of the house. Taylor says the Mallards can be rid of the Sipinnits, but Cathy and Mack explain they could visit as friends. Grandpa Feenus encourages visiting because he is moving in with Gloria. Patricia and Manson ask if Manson might move in with the Mallards—he yearns for a more normal life. Cathy and Mack, remembering they should keep an open mind for even better illusions, say they’re receptive. Taylor says they can quit their jobs because he’ll support them as well as Manson. He also invites them for another glass of Grandma’s wine. They agree, and everyone toasts to new friends and Grandma Sipinnit’s wonderful wine.

This script was a Finalist in the Austin Comedy Film Festival, 2023, and an Official Selection for the Boston Independent Film Awards, 2022.