THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES

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THE SUPERIOR SIX
By Ana Turbides

GENRE: Science Fiction
LOGLINE:

After his mother mysteriously disappears, a former superhero refusing to be a superhero once more, sets out to reunite with his siblings to find their mother and save the world.


SYNOPSIS:

In San Diego, a team of five superhero siblings have gone years without being led by their older brother but have stayed under the strict training and “dictatorship” of their mother who is an NSA agent. Without their brother, they have struggled as a team, letting themselves become preoccupied with the growing dysfunctionality of their family which their mother has only added on to and has led to destruction as a team. After a complicated mission, releasing civilians from a hostage situation, they still try to make a name for themselves in the world to keep the name that made them, “Superior.” Peter Spelling, the estranged brother, having left superhero life many years prior, being released from his mother’s stronghold and an accident that has scarred him, has become a successful beyond-borders doctor, still saving lives without having to use his powers. He finds himself trying to combat a mysterious illness that has bounced around, following him and striking all the places he has traveled, affecting villages and innocent people, each time striking more aggressively than the last. Not knowing how or why he’s just as determined to fight it even more aggressively. With the village people getting angry and disoriented about the illness, they begin to blame Peter and his fellow doctors for bringing the illness. In their violence and chaos, Peter lunges in a quick response to save a little girl he’s been treating. Everyone sees the power he’s hidden for years. Back in San Diego, Peter's siblings, not knowing where to even begin, get one of their sisters to use her powers to appear to Peter and expresses urgency for his need to come home. Peter reunites with his siblings after a brief hesitation and must deal with their growing dysfunction. Lisamarie, his closest sister, more like a best friend, born just after him, welcomes him with a warm embrace while the other siblings seem to despise his return. They go through the wreckage of their home from where she disappeared and go through all possibilities. An armed car chase is hot on the road and Peter's hesitant to join as Lisamarie grabs her siblings. She convinces Peter and their quest leads them to come face-to-face with their villain. Unsuccessful at defeating him, they are faced with hate and a crowd of hecklers. Peter pulls his siblings away and they leave. Peter, angry at first at their own defeat, decides to help his siblings take down their guy. He trains them and helps them gain better control of their powers. They go at it again, being successful, and to their surprise soon taken by the NSA who claim they've been after the villain whose power is considered handy and whose powers can be harnessed. They are taken to a room to find their mother alive and well after fearing the worst. She confesses to faking her disappearance to capture the villain. Peter, angry, decides to leave having had enough of his mother. At the airport, Peter soon finds himself having to return back to rescue his siblings after the villain escapes NSA custody and begins destroying the city. Their mother seemingly dead, under the rubble of the NSA facility. Decked out in full uniform, the six of them take down their villain but not without him trying to take Peter down with him. The siblings find themselves in a tug of war trying to save Peter from the villain's acidic grip. Their mother comes out from the rubble and runs to sacrifice herself releasing the grip on Peter and he's saved. Now dead, Peter and his siblings realize her sacrifice and are left in tears. A news van pulls up and a reporter interrogates them, calling them the Superior Five, Lisamarie corrects Superior six. The little girl that Peter treated is better and happy. Peter makes a formal announcement before the press to state his acceptance of who he is, that he will keep being a part of the Superior Six and will no longer leave. Everyone claps.

Tasha Lewis 2

Rated this logline

Maurice Vaughan

Hey, Ana Turbides. I like the idea of a superhero who doesn't want to be a superhero returning to a life of crime-fighting to save his mom.

I think your logline needs some work. Here’s a logline template that might help:

After ______ (the inciting incident/the event that sets the plot in motion), a _______ (an adjective and the protagonist's position/role) tries to _______ (goal of story) so/in order to ________ (stakes).”

Loglines are one or two sentences (a one-sentence logline sounds better and it takes less time for a producer, director, etc. to read it). You can add the antagonist in the logline.

The inciting incident can also be at the end of the logline: “A _______ (an adjective and the protagonist's position/role) tries to _______ (goal of story) so/in order to ________ (stakes) after ______ (the inciting incident/the event that sets the plot in motion).”

Avoid using names in a logline (unless it's a Biopic or a famous story -- like a fairy tale). Use an adjective and the protagonist's position/role instead of a name.

Avoid using “must” in loglines because “must” sounds like the protagonist is forced to do whatever the goal of the story is (instead of the protagonist doing it willingly), and “must” doesn’t sound active. Audrey Knox (a TV literary manager) also said this during a logline review webinar on Stage 32 (https://www.stage32.com/webinars/The-Write-Now-Challenge-The-Logline-Rev...). Instead of using “must,” use “attempts to,” “fights to,” “struggles to,” “strives to,” “sets out to,” “fights,” “battles,” “engages in,” “participates,” “competes,” etc.

Example #1:

After a group of dog criminals arrives in a small town, an impulsive dog sheriff defends a dog treat factory so they won’t steal food that’s meant for hungry dog families.”

Example #2:

A dysfunctional couple works together to survive against bears after they crash on an abandoned road miles from help.”

NOTE: Not all stories will follow this logline template. Biopics, documentaries, and Experimental scripts might not follow this template. The overall logline for a TV show might not follow this template, but the logline for an episode in the show could.

Nate Rymer

Rated this logline

Ana Turbides

Thank you, Maurice Vaughan! Much appreciated! Thank you! I fixed it! :) I will keep this template for reference.

Maurice Vaughan

You're welcome, Ana. I like the new logline better, but I think you should mention that he doesn't want to be a superhero.

Ana Turbides

Yes, thank you, Maurice! I'll give it another quick fix.

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