THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES
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NIGHTMARE CARNIVAL
By Joseph Sullivan
When a psychic struggling with her own demons teams up with paranormal investigators to explore a haunted carnival where a tragic accident occurred 25 years ago, they uncover a sinister presence that threatens to trap them in a nightmarish loop of terror and death.
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You're on your way to a solid logline, Joseph Sullivan.
I think the first part of your logline (the inciting incident) is too long. Maybe just put "When a psychic struggling with her own demons teams up with paranormal investigators to explore a haunted carnival." You could save "where a tragic accident occurred 25 years ago" for the synopsis and pitch.
What's the story goal/what happens after they uncover the sinister presence that threatens to trap them in a nightmarish loop? Do they try to defeat the presence? Do they try to escape the loop?
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