Post your loglines. Get and give feedback.
Moustache, a baker's poodle bored with city life, gets more excitement than he bargained for when joining up with Napoleon's Army, following it on its conquests of Europe and beyond.
SYNOPSIS:
Born on a farm in the French countryside, one day is pretty much the same as the next, and poodle Moustache fears he is in for more boredom when he is sent away to be the pet of a city baker. He's wrong about that-- a company of French soldiers marches through town, and his life becomes tangled up with theirs.
His quick thinking and keen sense of smell come in handy when he saves his new friends from a sneak attack in the night. He quickly develops from a raw recruit to a valued member of the company, getting his own bites in when they meet the enemy on the open field of battle.
From the rolling seas of the Mediterranean, to the burning sands of Egypt, to the snows of the frozen Alps, Moustache is tested at every turn, and learns to take charge of his own fate.
It's a decent, broad overview of the story, but ideally what you need to do to have a better chance of hooking in distinterested, cynical, world-weary producers is to give more key detail on the story. You've clearly intro'd your main character (Moustache) but you're missing some specifics such as the antagonistic force (who or what is opposing his desire/goal?) as well as some idea as to the stakes.
If you'd like some further assistance with your logline, I have put together a helpsheet for my clients that I can send you. Message me if you're interested.
Rated this logline
Rated this logline