THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES
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VIRTUALLY 6 FEET
By Mohammad Hunter
SYNOPSIS:
This is based on my comicbook series. Virtually 6 feet. In the very near future. The idea of a real metaverse is no longer the laughing stock of the uneducated folk who do not understand such things. As the race is on to not only Save the planet. But to coexist. An unknown corporation comes along Making claim to be our saving grace by allowing us to live our dreams in virtual world and also save the earth at the same time. But they cannot build this virtual world without one the best programmers that ever lived. Everything seems magical and exciting about the offering until the developer figures out, by chance after delving deep into the virtual world he help build. A glitch he just can't seem to get rid of, only this is not a glitch, but something much, much more darker in nature. Now he is about to be transported to many different worlds and meet the most unlikeliest of Allies on his journeys as he seeks to destroy this world he help build, and uncover the darkness that is being used to fuel this whole technology. And the people behind it.
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It's probably a good story, but there are a lot of common words in the logline.
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Thank you very much Arthur, hey that's why I'm here to get advice. Yea the logline was something I just pumped out in a few minutes. I'm thinking it'll change over time. But drop me a dm would be great to connect and get some great advice from you buddy, thanks again
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Here’s a logline template that might help, Mohammad Hunter:
“After ______ (the inciting incident/the event that sets the plot in motion), a _______ (an adjective and the protagonist's position/role) tries to _______ (goal of story) so/in order to ________ (stakes).”
Loglines are one or two sentences (a one-sentence logline sounds better and it takes less time for a producer, director, etc. to read it). You can add the antagonist in the logline.
The inciting incident can also be at the end of the logline: “A _______ (an adjective and the protagonist's position/role) tries to _______ (goal of story) so/in order to ________ (stakes) after ______ (the inciting incident/the event that sets the plot in motion).”
Avoid using names in a logline (unless it's a Biopic or a famous story -- like a fairy tale). Use an adjective and the protagonist's position/role instead of a name.
Avoid using “must” in loglines because “must” sounds like the protagonist is forced to do whatever the goal of the story is (instead of the protagonist doing it willingly), and “must” doesn’t sound active. Audrey Knox (a TV literary manager) also said this during a logline review webinar on Stage 32 (https://www.stage32.com/webinars/The-Write-Now-Challenge-The-Logline-Rev...). Instead of using “must,” use “attempts to,” “fights to,” “struggles to,” “strives to,” “sets out to,” “fights,” “battles,” “engages in,” “participates,” “competes,” etc.
Example #1:
“After a group of dog criminals arrives in a small town, an impulsive dog sheriff defends a dog treat factory so they won’t steal food that’s meant for hungry dog families.”
Example #2:
“A dysfunctional couple works together to survive against bears after they crash on an abandoned road miles from help.”
NOTE: Not all stories will follow this logline template. Biopics, documentaries, and Experimental scripts might not follow this template. The pilot logline and episode loglines for a TV show might not follow this template, but the series logline could.
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Dude you're an actual legend, yea I know about the nice and short ol but tbh I was trying to do two things at once lol but I'm learning always, thank you again so much Maurice
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It's always great to keep learning, Mohammad Hunter. You're welcome.