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QUANTUMANIC ENTANGLEMENT

QUANTUMANIC ENTANGLEMENT
By Steven Blows

GENRE: Sci-fi, Comedy
LOGLINE:

Two bickering scientists studying quantum mechanics begin to uncontrollably do the opposite movements to each other after a failed experiment.

SYNOPSIS:

ERTHA (45, contained, pedantic) and ERWIN (32, emotional, egotistical) conduct an experiment to study the manic, unpredictable, and hard-to-fathom realm of quantum mechanics. The experiment consists of two chambers firing electricity at two small thin pure silver squares filled with glass panes, a.k.a vacuum chips. After an unseen miss fire the pair bicker and blame each other for the shortcomings in their results. They go to replace the burned-out vacuum chips with pristine new ones, however, Erwin is yet to finish eating his spaghetti and when he throws the fork back into the bowl, it misses and presses the ignition button. The experiment fires with the pair holding onto the vacuum chips in the chambers.

The effects of the experiment gradually unravel and as Ertha rallies of scientific jargon. She walks and Erwin, behind her, is forced by some new supernatural bond (quantum entanglement) to do opposite movements to her. She moves her right arm, he moves his left. The bond strengthens one limp at a time.

After a few slapstick comedy-style mishaps create some dangerous situations, Ertha comes to terms with their newfound predicament and Erwin begins to see the positive side with the promise of a Nobel Prize-winning discovery, however, to understand what has just happened, he will need to stop being so clumsy and the pair will need to do something that they have never successfully done before; work together. This proves easier said than done when Erwin has just eaten a bowl of spaghetti. Erwin farts, pushing gas out of Ertha but in the opposite direction, released in the form of a burp, and when Ertha burps, she sneezes, jolting her head forwards and his head backward and against the wall.

Erwin begins to panic. He moves without thought, forcing Ertha to drag herself along a desk. Erwin claims that the pair are terrible scientists, only having gotten the jobs because he slept with the boss (a seventy-four-year-old man) and she is the boss's daughter. Ertha takes pity on the man she blames for their situation and inspires him with a speech highlighting how famous scientists can do terrible things, such as Oppenheimer poisoning his tutor.

Ertha decides to try to counteract the effects of the experiment. With great difficulty, the pair navigate the lab to do a rerun of the experiment. Ertha sets the ignition at its longest countdown time; 1 minute. She forces Erwin around the room, with him moving in the opposite direction to her every move, and the pair stands in front of the chambers holding the new vacuum chips for the experiment. Only, Ertha faces her chamber and Erwin faces away from his. With seconds to go, Ertha contorts her body forcing Erwin to do the opposite, placing both of their hands with the vacuum chips into the path of the experiment. The experiment fires another course of electricity through their bodies. A pulse of white light.

A moment passes where neither of the scientists dares to move. They turn to each other. Was that by chance, or are they still entangled? Ertha raises her right hand, making Erwin raise his left. The experiment was a failure. Erwin points a finger at Ertha, blaming her for their demise when his right finger does the opposite. Ertha does a mix-match of the same movement. Motions have been set and the pair lose control as the right side of their own bodies are now doing the opposite to the left side of their bodies, forcing the other person to do the opposite too. It is pandemonium as arms are in constant motion.

Stray arms knock files over. Erwin moves a leg forward and their legs begin to move as erratically as their arms as the pair move constantly. Erwin begins to let out a high-pitched panicked wine. Erwin knocks a drink on the desk. Its fizzy contents spill onto the computer monitor which sparks and lets out a small cloud of smoke. The pair continue to move in opposites.

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