THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES
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"THE PROJECT"
By Erix Mercedes
During the 1960s, under the guise of scientific progress, the CIA sprayed toxic chemicals into Black neighborhoods, testing compounds designed to tamper with the human mind and body. In 1968 Newark, one of these experiments spirals out of control, forcing residents to confront its deadly consequences
SYNOPSIS:
During the 1960s, the CIA conducted secret chemical experiments targeting marginalized communities under the guise of scientific progress. In 1968 Newark, one of these experiments spirals out of control, trapping the Williams family in their apartment building. With their neighbors succumbing to the chemicals’ horrifying effects, the family must navigate the chaos to survive. Set against a backdrop of historical unrest and systemic betrayal, this story is a harrowing exploration of resilience, family, and the fight to maintain humanity in the face of unimaginable horror.
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3 people like this
This sounds really interesting and unique, Erix Mercedes! Great title and scary picture!
I think your logline could be tightened up. And I think "forcing residents to confront its deadly consequences" is vague.
Here's a logline suggestion: Years after the CIA sprayed toxic chemicals into Black neighborhoods testing compounds designed to tamper with the mind and body, one of the experiments in a 1968 housing projects spirals out of control, forcing residents to fight for their lives.
2 people like this
I just read your synopsis, Erix Mercedes. "Trapping the Williams family in their apartment building. With their neighbors succumbing to the chemicals’ horrifying effects, the family must navigate the chaos to survive." It sounds like the family is the main focus in the script? If so, you might wanna focus on them instead of the other residents at the end of your logline.
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2 people like this
So touching. Wonna see that production!
Maurice Vaughan I appreciate the feedback, I didn't want to give too much away but I get your point. The option you provided doesn't focus on the family either so i took another jab at it. How about this one? "During the 1960s, under the guise of scientific progress, the CIA sprayed toxic chemicals into Black neighborhoods, testing compounds designed to tamper with the human mind and body. In 1968 Newark, one family must fight for their survival as the deadly experiment spirals out of control around them."
1 person likes this
No problem, Erix Mercedes.
Your logline is one of the things that attract producers, directors, etc. to your script, so you don't have to worry about giving too much away in your logline. Give it away. I used to do the same thing with loglines (not give too much away), and it cost me script requests.
I think the first sentence of your logline needs a better flow. It has too many commas.
I don't think you need "must" in the second sentence. You could just say "fight for survival." I also don't think you need "around them*" at the end.
Also, your logline is long (48 words). Loglines can be two sentences, but a one-sentence logline sounds better, and it takes less time for a producer, director, etc. to read it.
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