After the death of a rising star athlete, a grief-stricken mother obsessively works to expose an invisible killer with an eye on the youth sports community.
Teleah, there is SO much great and powerful stuff here already, holy cow!
I genuinely wonder if you need the "putting a strain on her new marriage" in here at all. It does feel a little out of place and slows the pace down a touch, & I don't know how much it's adding to/is necessary for the logline itself.
I would suggest something like, "After the death of a rising star athlete, a grief-stricken mother obsessively works to expose a killer whose eye is on the young sports community."
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Teleah, there is SO much great and powerful stuff here already, holy cow!
I genuinely wonder if you need the "putting a strain on her new marriage" in here at all. It does feel a little out of place and slows the pace down a touch, & I don't know how much it's adding to/is necessary for the logline itself.
I would suggest something like, "After the death of a rising star athlete, a grief-stricken mother obsessively works to expose a killer whose eye is on the young sports community."
Really really good start, though!
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Angela Cristantello Thanks so much for your feedback! I like your suggestion!
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