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CHRISTMAS IN CRYONIS
By Molly Bandt

GENRE: Comedy
LOGLINE:

When a desperate sci-fi filmmaker reluctantly accepts a job on a made-for-TV Christmas movie, she must learn about life, love, and teamwork from the curmudgeonly, alcoholic director and oddball cast and crew, as she faces the unscrupulous producer threatening to end her career for good... If SCHITT'S CREEK was a HALLMARK CHRISTMAS MOVIE.

SYNOPSIS:

Emery, an aspiring sci-fi filmmaker with a reputation for being difficult, learns she’s been fired from yet another job. To avoid moving home to Wisconsin and burying her dream of conquering Hollywood, she accepts a job as the Assistant Director on a Comfort Channel made-for-TV movie, Christmas in Cranberry Falls.

Arriving in Canada, Emery hitches an Uber from Jackson, a ruggedly handsome local with a cartop full of canoes. On set at the charming Grandview Lodge, she’s greeted by Rosemary, a Christmas movie super fan, and is confronted with chaos: half the crew has quit; George, the talented, curmudgeonly alcoholic director, is on the brink of being fired; and the not-so-talented male lead can’t seem to muster any chemistry with his co-star. Things are further complicated when Randall, the film's money-crunching producer, offers Emery future directing gigs if she helps oust George, his nemesis. She resists but knows that this may be her last shot at securing the funding for her dream project: Escape from Cryonis - a tale of gender fluid vigilantes who rescue men kidnapped by the evil planet Cryonis to spawn an army of semi-human male sex slaves.

Despite her aversion to Christmas movie tropes, she takes matters into her own hands, reorganizes scenes and rewrites the script in clever ways to keep the film on schedule and in budget. Along the way, she bonds with the oddball cast and crew, which includes a veteran theater diva, and the cameraman and key grip who endlessly bicker about esoteric topics like cryptocurrency, human cloning, and whether toilet paper should hang over or under. Meanwhile, romance blossoms between Emery and Jackson, who is not only an Uber driver, but also a bartender at the tavern near the lodge and a talented canoe builder.

Emery simultaneously sees George as a mentor and cautionary tale - an award-winning documentarian who now directs cookie-cutter holiday films to pay bills and keep custody of his kids. Just as Emery begins to find her footing, George’s friend, a Comfort Channel executive who's been protecting him from Randall, leaves the company. Certain to be fired, George goes on a bender, leaving Emery to finish the film with only days remaining. Determined to salvage the film, she rewrites the romance, pairing Ryan with his real-life love interest, David. The changes add authenticity but enrage Randall, who fires everyone. Defeated, Emery abandons Jackson and her friends, returning home, convinced she has destroyed her career.

In true Christmas movie fashion, a miracle arrives when Rosemary, the fairy-like Production Assistant who was only pretending to be an employee to avoid facing her personal Christmas trauma, offers to finance Escape from Cryonis. With the help of the unemployed Christmas in Cranberry Falls cast and crew, they bring Emery’s vision to life. At the wrap party, George reappears with kids in tow. Emery hides her joy when she sees that George also brought Jackson. As the Cryonis trailer wows the crowd, Emery and Jackson reconcile, sealing it with a perfect kiss in the falling snow. A playful snowball fight erupts, and as George lobs one at the camera, the screen fades to white - just like the ending of a classic Christmas movie, only better.

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