Sounds like fun

I'm at work on the third draft of this TV pilot after a zoom table read courtesy of the Albuquerque Screenwriters Group on Monday...and just learned today that the 2nd draft (didn't win but) was a top 20 finalist in the television category of the Los Angeles International Screenplay Awards. (Across all 3 categories, TV, feature and short film, there were over 2,000 entries...so feeling pretty good about continuing to work on this one!)

Congrats! It DOES sound like fun. I'd watch.

First of all: HI, HERMAN!! HOW ARE YOU?!

Secondly: I love everything about "a young man with a troubled past enter(ing) the world of insurance sales in 1980". So so so much fun, and such a clear and quirky vibe. I already know that I'd watch it in a second, and that I'd be all over my reps to submit me for it.

I honestly just want to know more specifics past that. We know that these characters are all a lil sketchy and we certainly see this play on "risk management", and that's all good, but it honestly feels like we're dancing around the danger or hinting at it more than we're laying it out. I think if we have a clearer understanding of what the primary obstacle is and what our stakes are here, that's inevitably going to hook your audience in even more than they already are.

But I certainly like what's here, too :)