Writing Beauty From The Ashes

When Covid first came onto the scene I got the worst of it. It was March of 2020 and whatever heinous version of it I had caused me to be bedridden for three months. I couldn’t walk to the bathroom or the bedroom door without collapsing. And even after the symptoms began to subside, it would be another two months before I could walk to the kitchen. Yet, in the midst of that, something wonderful happened. Although my physical body had abandoned me, my mind had not. I was of sound mind, able to dream and create.

I had been an author of several books but in the deepest recesses of my heart, there was something missing that I couldn’t place. At the time, I had a group of friends who met on Zoom to encourage each other through the pandemic. One of them encouraged me to write a screenplay. I had already invested in the interest by reading and studying as much as I could some years before. I just hadn’t gotten the courage to do it. But because of an encouraging friend, I took the plunge and wrote my first feature screenplay while bedridden. Because it was based on a previously published book of mine, the outline was easy. I completed my first full-feature screenplay in just a few short weeks.

I had not felt that level of fulfillment in a long time. Beauty from ashes.

Interestingly enough, the piece I worked on was spawned from an incident that happened to my wife many years prior. She had been kidnapped by three men at gunpoint, assaulted, and left in a parking lot. She not only survived but thrived. In my screenplay, Haven of Dante, a fate that loosely resembles that horrific experience, repeats itself. The purpose of including it is to be a source of encouragement for anyone who has gone through a similar experience. It is a message that they too can not just survive but thrive and that demons within and without were meant to be slain. Haven is a martial artist, as are my wife, daughter, and me.

In my youth, I lived in a poor single-parent household. At one point, we lost our house. My mother, sisters, and I were forced to go our separate ways. I was homeless and lived in an old motel owned by a church with no heat or warm food for several months.

In that experience, the shame of failure and utter embarrassment of who I was, wrapped itself around my soul and lived with me for so long, I had forgotten what it was like to live without this bedfellow. I had become defined by my circumstances. It was a weight that I added to the character of Ian Castillo in The Jupiter Chronicles and in his abject poverty, the shame was brought out of the darkness and into the light in one line spoken by his mother, Camilla.

In her wisdom, Camilla says to her forlorn son, “Do you want to know what I see when I look at you? I see a king...seated high and lifted up. Ruling with kindness towards all and the pride of a lion, boldly declaring there shall be no quarter for the beast of shame is slain.”

His journey of healing begins when love shows him who he really is. With small victories along the way, his journey will end with the truth of who he is and seated where he is no longer defined by his circumstances.

Some of the most meaningful feedback I’ve received for this story came from a parent who said, “Thank you for writing a story that I can trust with my kids.” A retired curriculum specialist and librarian also said, “Your books not only showcase a family pulling together despite hardships but in a way, actually helped accomplish that very thing in my family.” All three of her grandkids were screened dyslexic but overcame it in time and are now avid readers. I’m honored that The Jupiter Chronicles was part of that journey.

My point is, you can go beyond simply surviving and instead thrive. Beauty from ashes. And that beauty has no choice but to spread.

Recently, my autistic nephew with Asperger’s visited. I watched his behavior closely - how his quiet demeanor was actually intelligent surveillance of his surroundings and how his acts of affection were reserved for a privileged few.

In my children’s animated feature script, Agents of C.O.W. the main character, Waffles, shares this trait. Speaking in one-word sentences at the beginning of our story, our character, Waffles, has gifts and talents that are grossly underestimated. What the eyes of others see (and judge) and what the hidden gifts can offer are often chasms apart. We judge others for many reasons, whether it’s ethnicity, special needs, different beliefs, and sometimes even gifts. I could share stories about how I’ve been judged (and have judged myself) for most of those reasons. But I’d rather not focus on that. If we choose to forgive the judgments and shine from our gifts instead, the fruit will speak for itself. Waffles goes on to change the heart of the outcast antagonist who, like Waffles, was judged wrongly by his gifts. From that place of healing, they save a world. You and I can save our inner one by shining beauty from a deeper well, not allowing the judgments of others to define who we are, and moving full-steam ahead. What some may see as a weakness can be our greatest strength.

Side note: The day he left, my nephew hugged me goodbye. For a kid with Asperger’s, that’s a really big deal.

This was a beauty from a deeper well.

As creators, we know the value of drawing from our experiences. The tough part is remembering this as we’re walking through the valley of shadow and death.

But when you do find yourself walking through that valley, you have to keep going. Don’t stay there. You are not alone. And not to diminish what you’re going through but as you walk through the dark night of the soul, find ways to draw from that, write down not just a description of the valley but what you’re learning from it - the good that can come from it - perhaps even a greater empathy that can come out of it. Be the hero in the story that comes out better, wiser, and more sympathetic in the end. Turn what was meant for pain into something good.

Waste nothing. There may be a great story in there to tell. One that only YOU can tell.

As a footnote, books, and screenplays are two entirely different animals. Because of my circumstances, I was forced to take my time. If you’ve ever thought of taking the leap from authoring books to writing screenplays, do it. I couldn’t count the number of times I’ve heard a book fan complain that the author was not involved in writing a screenplay for their own story. Yes, they are two different mediums but I say we can change the perception that we can’t do both. Let’s break the box!

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