How To Turn Your Failures Into Success

Do you have a screenplay that didn’t get into a competition? A film without distribution? An idea that you just don’t know how to make a move on? I have been in all these positions and more than once. So how do we move forward as artists when the world seemingly continues to push back on us? This is the big question and I hope to provide some insight based on my real-world experience. How I work hard to "fail up" as a filmmaker.

For anyone who has read my previous blog posts, you’ll know that I started as an actor. A few classes and it changed the trajectory of my life. I fell in love with film and more importantly the process of making a film. The harsh reality of my experience can be summed up as this… starring roles in two feature films that remain unfinished.

Not to be deterred, I decided to get some gear, gather my friends, and make my own films. If I’m in the driver's seat, I can be in the film and control whether it gets finished. As a team, we pushed and worked hard to create my first short film. I’ve done it, right? Onto glitz and glamour? Not this time. My short film DRIVEN BY LOVE was rejected from several festivals and now lives somewhere on YouTube. Let’s call this failure number 2.

Seeing what I did wrong on my first short, I really wanted to apply my new knowledge and try again. I also made the decision to no longer act as I really fell in love with the work behind the camera. Here comes failures number 3 and 4. A short film and a feature, were both rejected from several festivals. I did get a small distribution deal on my feature, but no compensation was realized.

It was at this time that I determined I needed a better script if I wanted to make a better film. If it’s not on the page, it’s not on the screen. I’ve tried to add scenes on the fly in the past and it just doesn’t work out all that well. So, there I sat, writing, writing, and writing some more. With my finished script in hand, I submitted to everything I could. Rejection, rejection, rejection and that’s when it happened. I got into the 16th annual Beverly Hills Film Festival! It’s happening! It’s all happening! The only problem is… nothing happened. I didn’t win, I didn’t make any great connections (huge introvert over here) and I didn’t progress in my career. Failure number 5.

The year was 2016 and I just got back from the festival. I was lost. What am I doing wrong? Why am I doing this? I clearly don’t have it. It was at this time that I made the decision to quit. I just didn’t have the drive anymore. I didn’t have the spark needed to pursue this crazy world of film. There was only one problem with my decision, the crazy world of film wasn’t ready for me to quit. A local producer reached out to me asking if I would do a short film for him and I accepted.

This was going to be my last film. One last ride before I let the dream die. We filmed over 2 consecutive weekends, edited and produced a fun little film. Accepted into a small festival, nothing more came from the project. I didn’t get a job, I wasn’t hired by a production company or studio, I wasn’t the world’s next great filmmaker. Failure number 6.

This time I’m done. I mean it. I quit. Well… maybe not quit. Maybe I’ll just write. Yeah, that’s it. I’ll write! I’ll write my scripts, get my creative outlet and keep the dream alive! So that’s exactly what I did. I wrote ‘What About Molly?’ A few competition rejections later and we can call this failure number 7.

Okay, this time I’m really done! It makes no sense to keep going. It’s just not right. I obviously don’t have what it takes. I’m not as good as I think I am. It’s over. I do like this story though… I could film this… This is an easy one… Small cast and crew, minimal locations... I do miss the process. Screw it, I’m making a movie!

WHAT ABOUT MOLLY? was filmed during COVID. A small team of dedicated artists worked incredibly hard to create this fun feature-length film. I worked during 2021 on post-production finally bringing our feature film to life. Now it was time for our festival run. Surely 2022 was going to be our year. I can feel it! I can taste it! This was going to be my year!

2022 was a depressing year. Molly was submitted to 54 festivals and rejected from 48 of them to date. I went through 2022 hoping every month to get an acceptance and every month I got multiple rejections, each one hitting me just a little harder. Failure number 8.

This brings us up to February of 2023. Okay, it’s clear I’m not a good filmmaker. I just don’t have the skill for it. That said, I did learn a lot over my years of trying and I have a lot to bring to the table. Just because I’m not a good filmmaker, doesn’t mean I wouldn’t be a great team member for someone who is a good filmmaker. What job could I do? What job would I like to do? Hell, I don’t know. Maybe this isn’t right either.

As you can see, I’m a bit of an internal head case. I think it comes with rejection. You fail, you internalize, and you fail, it’s a vicious cycle. Again, ready to step away, the world worked oddly in my favor. Things started happening much like they did back in 2016. Let’s take a look at the series of events that occurred.

In early February, Emily J. with Stage 32 indicated that they would like to post one of my blogs and I happily agreed. When the blog went live, comments started flowing in. Not only do I reply to the comments but I also go to each individual's page to get a sense of who I’m speaking with. Jennifer Carriere caught my eye as she has experience with Script Supervising. We connected, and one thing led to another and suddenly I found myself applying for Script Supervising work. After just a few days, I landed my first job. February turned out to be a pretty good month, and all because of networking with industry professionals who spend their time on Stage 32!

At the beginning of March, I landed my second job as a Script Supervisor. Hell, I’m on a roll now. Things couldn’t really get better, could they? Turns out… they could! At the end of March, my new feature WHAT ABOUT MOLLY? was accepted to the Austin Lift-Off Film Festival (currently running through May, reach out for details)! March was a GREAT month!

Now, here comes April. I completed my first two films working as a Script Supervisor and the experience was everything I wanted it to be. Fun, rewarding, and inspiring, and both teams thought I was an incredible asset to have to work with them. Years of knowledge and hard work were really starting to pay off, especially when I landed my third job as a Script Supervisor!

So, why do I tell you all this? What is the point, right?

Through the progression of my career, from failure to failure, you can see how things slowly get better and better. I started as an actor, working on two films that were never released. I used that to make my own movies, first failing to gain any traction. This led me to put more emphasis on my writing, which got me into a festival, something I had been striving for. Because of the work I put in, someone actually reached out to me to make a movie for them. I got into another festival. Failing once more as a writer, I pushed to make the film. I suffer 48 festival rejections, catapulting me to find something different. This leads to me learning about Script Supervising and now I work as a Script Supervisor supporting other productions. Ready to give up on my own filmmaking career in support of others, Molly gets into a festival.

Before I finish up with the inspiration stuff, I want to say one thing about perspective. Did I really fail several times as a filmmaker or succeed as one? I was in a starring role in two feature films. I successfully wrote, produced, and directed 3 short films and two features. I have completed multiple feature-length screenplays. I successfully operate as a script supervisor on other films, really enjoying and finding the work fulfilling. Is any of this really failure? I have memories to last a lifetime and I thoroughly enjoyed the ride on each project. The result isn’t what I always wanted, but does that make it a failure? You be the judge.

I don’t know what the future holds for me or my filmmaking endeavors. Currently, I LOVE and find joy in Script Supervising and providing support to other films. That said, deep down, I still have the passion to tell my own stories. Will Molly win the Austin Lift-Off festival and springboard me in some way? Will Molly get into other festivals? Will I become the next great filmmaker? Do I have what it takes? I honestly don’t know. I can’t tell you the future, however, I can tell you this… If you try, push, and claw your way through your failures, something great could happen. There are no guarantees in winning but, if you never try, I guarantee you will lose every time. If you quit, or maybe worse, never start… you’ll never see what could’ve been. I would rather fail often and fail up than never fail at all.

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