Mohammed Isa's Lounge Discussions

William - Feedback illuminates the reader as much as it does the writer, sometimes moreso. I had a reader in coverage ask questions that were answered in the script. Did that illuminate my failing, or his/hers? I am slow to blame writers given the amount of times I've heard this happen and more receptive to blaming readers given the poor pay and generally low standard of dramaturgical understanding they possess. I've had feedback where I doubt the sanity of the reader. No joke.

I had a pitch meeting for my; 'Action/Adventure' film and I won't go on with what was said but the studio head highly recommended that I read; "Your Screenplay Sucks! - 100 Ways to Make it Great!'. I downloaded the book on my Kindle and got the full critique that I sorely needed for only $14.95 with no hidden agenda. I recommend the book to anyone that thinks they wrote the perfect story.

Go forth and conquer!

Hector - that book is ALWAYS on my desk! It's been a tremendous help to me. I second your recommendation.

Take all feedback and comments and try to learn something and how to improve upon your work. My professor hat on.

Looks like they skimmed through the script, not reading thoroughly. So, I suggest you boycott that festival and submit the script to another festival.

I'm not sure about the Arab-only comment though. Definitely reach out to our Director of Script Services, Jason Mirch, to see what he thinks: J.Mirch@stage32.com

Karen - you're reading something into the script/storyline and interpreting the comments based on your assumptions; maybe true/maybe not. But the notes are precise and make sense - but I have no idea how appropriate they are to the (to me) unknown story.

Thank you both for the input. In case you want to read it, you can find the script and synopsis here: https://www.stage32.com/profile/485701/Screenplay/Bedaya

"How do you not know what is meant by "She’s pure evil as she holds down his moving arms, enjoying

being on top and in control"?"

I think that to most people, a woman enjoying being on top would not connote any kind of evil.

Hey Mohammed Isa - thanks for sharing. I think from the notes you've received the reader is looking for more context. It seems as though you are attempting to infuse some voice or color commentary into the writing - which is welcome of course. But it seems like this commentary by you the writer is coming off as confusing to that particular reader. It might be worth revisiting to see if you can illustrate the visual you're going for in another way.

2-3 weeks is normal but I expect they would have got a lot of scripts for the Memorial weekend special so I'm guessing there will be some delays.

It all depends on the executives prior workload.

I love this, Carl. Thank you. :)

Talk with the Director. You can morph the Spring field & trees into Autumn colors via a green screen and cross fade young to older character with some simple X fades as she moves across the frames. Not a big budget solution and fairly easy if you put the Director, DP and Editor on the same page. I would shoot it slo-mo in three shots (just my opinion).

"I would shoot it slo-mo in three shots"...nice. Child, Adolescent, and Woman. Thank you, Doug!

Here's how the original Lion King handled it.

Thanks for the example Laurie. I forgot about Lion King.