Cool! You can add a bit of comedy to the logline, that would be great.

Thanks all. I appreciate your feedback, Val. Thinking of revisions.

This sounds like a funny script, Connie Barretta. And unique.

I'm confused about who's the main character(s) in the logline. I also think the logline needs more commas (or the logline needs a new structure) because it's so long and a reader might get winded.

Thanks Maurice, I realized at 11:35 pm , as I’m submitting a screenplay to a contest, that I needed a logline. This logline probably needs some work. So, I open up Stage 32, I’m stressed to the max, and I see the words “You’re up late”. It put a smile on my face!

I think you can drop the whole piece of "A-Word" maybe and just write something akin to, "when their two caring, but overprotective daughters, hatch a plot to place them into an assisted living home..." or something like that. Play around a bit. Just not sure the "A-Word" thing needs to be in there unless it's the title, which it doesn't seem to be. Because you have to give that a definition, it detracts from the beats of the logline. Just my opinion though! Good luck.

Great suggestion, Derek! Thank you! I’m on it!

"Great hook! The concept is very engaging and has a lot of potential. Looking forward to seeing how this develops. Keep up the good work!"

You're welcome, Connie Barretta. Hope your screenplay did great in the contest!