Success Stories: FEB'3 The Second Annual Feature Screenwriting Fellowship Competition

Congratulations on "Prodrome" reaching the quarterfinals, Geoff Hall!

Thank you kindly, Maurice Vaughan It’s a thrill to be honoured this way by Stage32! :-)

You're welcome, Geoff Hall. "Prodrome" sounds interesting.

Congrats Geoff. Very cool.

Best news I've heard all day! Congrats to you, Geoff!!

Very cool Geoff Hall ! Congratulations! (Raises glass)

Linwood Bell thank you so much, Linwood. I’m about to have that ‘wee dram’, so I also raise it to you…and Sheena Easton! :-)

Leonardo Ramirez thank you, Leonardo. How are you doing, my friend? It’s been a long time since we had a Zoom call and I miss you.

Janson Mancheski thank you Janson. How are you doing?

Maurice Vaughan maybe I’ve told you this before, Maurice? But I wrote “Prodrome” as a kind of response to the darkness I encountered in “Seeing Rachel”. I thought I needed a lighter subject matter, ha!, but it ended being about a man who was going through the preliminary stages of a psychotic break; a prodrome. Yes, so much for lightness! It is though a very dark comedy. Poor Jude Lawson! It’s what we might call ‘heightened reality’ with lots of realities and if corse written by me as a writer-director.

Doing great, Geoff Hall. Sounds like you are as well. Very happy for you. We’re doing great, just have had a lot going on. We’ll have that call soon.

Congratulations!!!!

Congratulations, Geoff.

Way to go, Geoff Hall. Best of luck as it rolls forward!

I can imagine what happiness a screenwriter gets from such motivations. Congratulations Geoff !!

Congratulations!

Congrats!!

Leonardo Ramirez great to hear that your family is well, Leonardo. Yes, let’s have that call. I’m away at my Mum’s next week, so maybe the week after?

Sallie Olson thanks Sallie. How are you doing?

James D Howes thank you James. What are you working on at the moment?

Vital Butinar Hi Vital, thank you so much. How is life in Slovenia?

Rutger Oosterhoff Thank you, Rutger. How are you doing?

DT Houston thank you, DT. I hope things are good with you.

Congratulations! This is wonderful!

I'm working hard on Serial Twins. Besides a lot of other people, Sallie Olson gave me some great notes concerning the screenplay Serial Twins; the biggest left problem was that some producers/directors/actresses who read the screenplay missed the twins' backstory, and so the UNIQUE superhero angle. ( it isn't s superhero story but ok) in the first 10 pages; I now added some horrifying MEMORY FLASHES to the already added one paragraph - now split up - backstory

Only one major problem to solve.. Of course we all say that , and then an other problem pops up. But I'm getting there.

MEGAN

(stops eating)

We're no judge or jury. We safeguard bums from assholes, contrary to our 'loving' parents who turned bums into, into...

MEMORY FLASH

- [INT/DAY] Young men and women kept in cages.

BACK TO SCENE

MEGAN

We lived it Kathryn... we are the wreckage of falling through the cracks in the justice system...

MEMORY FLASH

- YOUNG TWIN'S POV: [INT/DAY] A man and woman get thrown against a wall by police.

BACK TO SCENE

MEGAN

The orphanage... Did you forget?...

MEMORY FLASH

- [INT/NIGHT] Kids being whipped by nuns.

BACK TO SCENE

KATHRYN

Sooner or later we're going to have to take a life if we are not on the right side of the law. I don't want to feel like that again, ever.

I have tree 'potentia'l problems here:

(1) Officially there are 'two spaces' between, the end of an ACTION LINE and the next

BACK TO SCENE (or KATHRYN)

(2)

The scene always starts with an ACTION LINE not with dialog throughout this sequence.

Of courese I did all of this because of two reasons: (1) don't want to stretch out the sequense, and logically related to that, I want to keep the PACE.

(3)

Also, to not have to add an other line, I ?forced? in the unofficial [EXT/ NIGHT] format.

This was the best of bad choices I could come up with. What do you think?

Geoff Hall That’s my birthday weekend and Mack will be here then. The following week is Kristen’s birthday. See what I mean? Lots going on. But don’t worry - we will make this happen if not the following week.

You might've told me that already, Geoff Hall. I'm not sure. "Prodrome" is a catchy title. Unique concept.

Rutger Oosterhoff Hi Rutger, thanks for sharing this with me. If I look at this in isolation, I may think that it needs a little pacing and that the flashbacks needs a little more substance. But I say that only having read this section and don’t know how the script is paced before and after it. Take what I’ve said with a big pinch of salt, especially if I’m talking rubbish.

Your not asking rubbish at all, but more substance probably means lesser pacing (slower pace). There will be longer flash back beginning around page 30, but problem is that the reader can't know this until he/she gets there. Thanks, will give it an other look!

Rutger Oosterhoff ah, cool. So the flashbacks continue, but with a greater accent. That sounds cool, actually.

I think then if the reader comes back after seeing the first ten pages, then you just need to point them in the right direction about how this plays out.

Wendy Kay thank you, Wendy! How are things with you?

... Yes, but the question still is did I give enough backstory in the first 10 to let the reader read on, I will see in pitches to come....

Congratulations Geoff Hall Can't wait to see it!

Rutger Oosterhoff good luck, Rutger. I hope you nail it!