Screenwriting

Hi! I think there are a lot of common words in the annotation that do not distinguish your project from many other similar projects.

It sounds interesting, but it's similar to other haunted plantation house/haunted house movies, Mark Deuce. Maybe see if you can add a twist.

I admire your dedication. A decade is a long time on one story. I have quite few that are that old, but when I revisit them, they don’t seem that appealing anymore. So now, I’m taking their foundation and brainstorming ways that’ll make them sing. Hopefully, they’ll stand out from the rest. Cudos to you.

See you at the Wrap-Up, Ashley Renee Smith and Kay!

Ashley Renee Smith Thanks for your time, guys.

Anyone who missed it live can watch the full video HERE: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DEqFnUMS8ed/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&...

Ohh really? You created a doll movie can u please send me the link so I can watch it ??? Goran Johansson...

Yes, it is 103 minutes long. A disaster happened so I realized that it would be unrealistic to film with actors in the normal way. So I used a chromakeybackground and a morphsuit. I filmed one doll at a time and moved each doll with strings and sticks. Filming took less than 100 hours. Editing took 600 hours because I had never filmed that way earlier. I hated filming it this way because it was definitely not fun to watch the result, but at least it was better doing it this way than not filming at all.

Here is a link to the trailer. It is in my native language.

https://vimeo.com/manage/videos/308083543

And here for the film itself. In 4 parts.

https://vimeo.com/manage/videos/308770546

https://vimeo.com/manage/videos/309640811

https://vimeo.com/manage/videos/310830451

https://vimeo.com/manage/videos/312276830

Well, one learns a lot from working this way.

Oh my Gosh you put Soo much effort I wish that you Get success in your life

Nice that you liked it. And good luck if you decide to do something similar.

Thanks

Matthew, you've got this! Bring that hero on! (And here's wishing you plenty of success with that story!)

i greatly appreciate everyone’s comments and support. It really gives the confidence to pursue this.

Thank you

Yes!!

In 2005, I created a one minute short no-budget comedy about a nutty psychiatrics doctor. It became so popular that I decided to do a lot more with the same character. In practice, this is the reason why I in 2013 received a prize for best directing. And then two long no-budget movies with him. After that, my main character has been Albert Zweistein, math genius and scientist with Asperger syndrom.

If you can do it successfully, we are ready!

Progressive disclosure of information is one of the most valuable tools we have as writers.

We know, as the writer, everything about the characters and story. It’s our job to tell the audience what they need to know and when they need to know it.

Withholding information can be intriguing. Mystery can be great. Withholding too much information for too long will cause confusion. Your audience will turn on you.

I haven't seen Silo, but the show that comes to mind for me is Lost. Each episode revealed previously hidden character backstories at the moment we needed to know them.

I love that show!!

As a sci-fi fiend I avoided this thread like the plague, but I just finished episode nine of season two. This season has been a tad too slow for me, generally, but episode nine is VERY good. Never been a huge Steve Zahn fan, but dude absolutely slays his role in the series. To avoid spoilers (I would rather commit seppuku) that is all I will state for now!

Hey, Mike Childress. I like the slowness of the show (and other shows and movies). That's where I connect with the characters, and connecting with the characters makes the action scenes more impactful in my opinion.

Maurice Vaughan I can do the slow burn, I mean I tend to like/gravitate towards espionage fodder, and CI (counterintelligence) is known as "the slow game"! Also Rebecca Ferguson is...wooooooo!

Strong BEGINNING, now you need a clear, beat by beat storyline. This is just a setup where in a cool way you describe how their different background and characters mingle. It's the emotional layer that wraps around the real storyline.

This could be under the header" The emotional connection/relation(ship)/character grows of the two protagonists." Something like that. And after that (or before that,) you have the synopsis. And you integrate the EMOTIONAL LAYER, fitting through word choice, in a few lines here and there, throughout the synopsis.

You can post this under the title of your screenplay/under the LOGLINE (you have to come up with now.

It's funny, what the synopsis of one of my screenplays lacks, is already your strongpoint. Even without a clear storyline we are already emotionally invested in your story. Good job!

I agree with Rutger Oosterhoff, this is a good setup but the synopsis needs to still be fleshed out. Sounds like an interesting story, they're drawn and repelled from each other, so which part will win.. and how? I look forward to any revisions that you make.

This sounds like a unique Romance Drama, Ayesha Khan. I agree with Rutger and Michael about fleshing out your synopsis more.

"When she finally gets an opportunity to work abroad, her desire for freedom comes true, but it also brings unforeseen challenges." You could explain what the challenges are.

I think you should tell how the story ends in the last paragraph of your synopsis instead of asking questions.

Thanks you everyone I will upload the my synopsis with the adjustments as you all told me do again thanks ❤️

You're welcome, Ayesha Khan.

Sucks. A friend lost his house to the fires. Los Angeles economy was already bad, homelessness everywhere from downtown LA to Santa Monica pier.

Friend of mine lost a house too and I have the same worries. The economy was already bad. This may be the fatal blow.

Not looking good for the city of angels!

Thanks for sharing, Göran Johansson. Creative. Using something associated with the holiday to punish the villain.

Maurice Vaughan - on a sports based script

Happy New Year, Mista Martel! How's your script coming along?

@Maurice - I'm mid way through

Congratulations on getting midway through, Mista Martel! What sport is your script about?

CJ Walley I also think it might have to do with them trying to break in "easier". They don't want to network or put in the work so they think just sending $20 to a competition will magically get them jobs everywhere. I'm doing the opposite, I got super lucky and had an in right from the start because I made friends with lots of actors/screenwriters/directors but didn't wanna take shortcuts so I'm trying to get my work out there the same way everyone else does. I want people I don't know to read my scripts and let my work speak for itself. If I need to improve then I'll keep improving.

Yeah, it's part laziness, part fear and part peer pressure. If you see any thread about building a career there will be someone pushing competitions. It's been that way for over a decade now.

Shorts are a great way of starting in the trenches and then hopefully working up to low-budget indie filmmaking while learning a lot about the craft, a lot about production, and a lot about the business while also building up a reputation and respect.

I started writing shorts in 2013, my second year of writing. I watched people put all their chips on competitions and still, over ten years later, I'm seeing the same people rely on the same strategy and yet to get any traction, some of whom laughed at people like me writing scripts for students back then.

In fact, my first Stage 32 blog post was all about how it made me a better writer too.

Wow, that's a great post! It's funny how that works. Even friends close to me I can tell they wanted to side-eye me when I would tell them I'm a screenwriter cause they just assume I'm writing for nothing but then when they find out I have actual credits in films and a small TV show and have been praised by other actors/screenwriters around the world they're like oh...you're actually a writer. I'm like I don't understand...just because it doesn't solely pay my bills doesn't mean I'm just living in a fantasy world of writing 100 page scripts and not even trying to do anything with them other than just having it on my computer for fun

It took me a long time before I even dared call myself a writer. Now I've got the opposite problem, where people think I get paid big bucks and make films that'll be released theatrically.

The waiting period after submitting a script can feel like an eternity. It’s tough not knowing what’s next, but staying productive in the meantime is key. Personally, I find it helpful to engage in other creative outlets, like writing short stories or even trying something completely different, like testing my luck at games for a mental break. If you’re looking for a fun distraction, you might want to check out something like live casino roulette online — it’s a good way to unwind while keeping your mind sharp. Hang in there, and remember, every day spent waiting is one step closer to your next opportunity!

This seems a very open ended concept, but I have to say that's very well written in terms of prose.

Mischa Dhalla

This for me doesn’t scan, because if it’s ‘unimaginable’ how can it be an escape from a world that is no longer real? And… I’m curious, how do they know that this is the case?

Sylvester Grant Thank you for the compliment!

CJ Walley Thank you!

Geoff Hall sure let me touch on this for you. Unimaginable suggests that this is something beyond anyone's current understanding of the capabilities of the Quant AI. The decisions and technology it creates are light years ahead to the point where we lack understanding and it feels like magic. What we don't understand feels like magic cause it's totally unimaginable. The Quant AI is capable of creating new realms where anything is possible making you in charge of your realm that you envision. What happens in real world is that AI the Quant has figured out how to keep humans safe from environmental collapse. This is where Quant comes up with the unimaginable giving humans the capability to transcend into the digital realm. The real world as we know it is no longer our real world. This is because the sole purpose of the quant is to protect humanity and to keep it away from any possible extinction. This is where the Quant gets its code name G.O.D Guardian of Divinity. In this world people are able to procreate. But because you can live in any realm your mind creates, certain things tend to be forgotten or are no longer taught to the next generation. If the Quant allows you to live in any realm of your desire one that you create then what’s the point of teaching your offspring about the previous reality? The Quant has given humanity the gift to create and live in realms as they please, which makes the old reality feel unnecessary and irrelevant. History is then forgotten of the real world they come from.

Let me know if you'd like me to clarify anything else.

This is literally a place made for posting opinions and discussing the subjects mentioned.

Oooo, we got some juicy thoughts! Thanks for sharing, y'all! Maurice Vaughan I would absolutely agree that they can be included to "express your voice" or understand the project's tone. I think what trips up some early writers is they don't understand the difference between "voice" as icing on the cake as opposed to core information or story beats, which comes across as novelistic exposition. In the case of Monday's script, there was an entire apocalyptic event that is not seen (i.e. not in real life, not played out on screen) nor discussed (with say an opening scroll) before it is mentioned by a proper name in an action line on the first page. So, in this case, less expressing voice and more short-cutting world-building.

Rutger Oosterhoff Thanks for sharing this! I think this is a great example of when a writer is also the director, and so can break certain rules because there is no "lost in translation". If a screenwriter can fill in the gaps between what they've put on the page and what the heads of departments interpret with conversations, then they do not have to obey nearly as many rules. Similarly, if you are making your own films, instead of vying for investor money, then you don't have to defend those choices. This is the essential difference between writing for production and writing for greenlight. This is a BIG part of why we read both members' scripts and produced scripts in The Coverage Report - to continue to study in what ways rules can be broken without taking away from the cinematic experience.

And I think this also addresses your grief, CJ Walley, as to why people can't just get on with how they like to write. They can, actually... so long as their writing is good enough for their own money, their own contacts, and their own needs to go into production. Then you don't have to improve anything because you can just make up for the lack in production. The moment that writer has to put it in front of someone they don't know, and doesn't know them, and asks them to invest time or money making what they've envisioned, then there is nothing to help fill in the gaps. Shane Stanley said it best, "Producers don't want to read your script", so if you don't know them, writers have to do everything in their power to make the experience of reading their script as entertaining as possible. This includes knowing the craft, and in this case, referencing past events in an action line is a doubled-down "no no". You can allude to it by describing what we see that is a result of that event, but that goes back to "only what you see and hear". Actually, I feel like you can add "and feel". Because we also can't feel an event by name, so the writer must write how the scene before us makes us FEEL as we gaze upon and it still alludes to the event. Thanks for that! This rumination really helped!

And here's the rub - which I know you, CJ, know all too well - there is a parallel industry to "The industry", and it's the education or continuing education of the industry. So while I would love for people to just "get on with how they like to write" - and you do so very well, I might add! - sometimes writers want to know what doesn't work, what they can do to improve, and why no one is buying what they write. So, for those people who are asked to give feedback, whether for money or not, they must be able to articulate an answer. And those people can't just shrug and say "do what you want" because otherwise those writers looking for answers will be stuck in an infinite, unsatisfying loop. So, it's less about rules and more about common denominators. If you do X common thing found in Y other popular scripts, then you'll be closer to attaining Z result when your script is read.

Joshua Keller Katz That's a good point! I think the "only the see and hear" can now be expanded into "feel", as I ruminated on above. But to your point, we have to be efficient with our writing, so if it's not necessary, better to cut it. Keep it in an "outbox" which can become a bible, but it doesn't need to exist in the script.

As a paid studio/network reader for several years, you are spot-on about "Lines of Action" as well as "context clues". I always enjoyed the little asides to the reader.