LOGLINE:
Spanning 1995 to 2075, two women--one buying, the other sold--discover the purpose of robot companions.
INT. A "WILD" URBAN CAFE - DAY
ON BLACK
TITLE CARD: 2075
FADE IN:
"Dashing Don's Diner" is quiet - no playlist, no hush field
required. The breeze curls in through its doorless entrance.
PHOEBE (very old) nurses her tea on a sun-warmed bench.
Two other tables, in the patio, are occupied. On one table,
there are four backpackers, playing Uno. On the other, an
impossibly handsome blond young man is marking up a book
with a blue highlighter.
The cafe owner, DON (early 30s), English, goofy expression
on a face scarred with keloids, walks up bearing a bowl of
candied ginger.
DON
For the birthday gal.
(low whistle)
A hundred and five, izzit?
PHOEBE
(chuckles)
Don't say it out loud, Dashing.
A movement outside draws Phoebe's eye. A brown-skinned woman
in her 70s walks up to the young man seated outdoor - he
rises to kiss her on the cheeks, three times ('how
Continental'). Beneath a mask of lines like a riverbed in
drought, it's obvious that she was a striking beauty in her
youth - she's beautiful still. Phoebe realizes she's
staring, and turns away, to a loud hissing from the counter.
DON
That's just the steam-wand acting up.
'Burping up', Lou says - like it's
our baby.
There's Lou, sleeves rolled up past her elbows. Her chrome
forearms and the espresso machine reflecting each other. She
moves with surgical grace. Phoebe looks down to her teacup.
It had been broken before, and put back together with gold.
Across the square, a group of children play. They call to
each other in chirps and whistles, like birds.
FADE TO BLACK
INT. INNER-CITY APARTMENT - DAY
ON BLACK
TITLE CARD: 1995
FADE IN:
Hottest summer on record and the lift's broken - again.
KARIM (24) and Phoebe (20) lug their groceries up five
flights.
As he dead-bolts the door to their one-room apartment, she
starts to peel off her sodden dress.
KARIM
(mock-pleading)
Babe... it's too hot to fuck...
Phoebe pauses, like a flasher, panties bared. Arms up and
crossed at her shoulders, she flips Karim two birds. She
finishes her strip, rushes to the shower. He clumsily puts
cans into the pantry.
PHOEBE (O.S.)
Jeezus, the pipes are boiling!
Phoebe storms out of the bathroom wrapped in a too-small
towel, not remotely cooler. Clicks on their hulking desktop
PC to connect to the internet. The modem whistles shrilly,
over and over.
KARIM
Line's dead... remember?
Phoebe slams her hands on the wobbly kitchen table.
PHOEBE
Fuuuck. Does anything work here?
Karim turns on the TV.
TV (O.S.) "-Irish coast, an unprecedented mortality rate of
marine organisms from red tide-"
KARIM
(shrugs)
TV works.
TV (O.S.) "-recent years by pollution and temperature-"
Phoebe stabs the Off button.
PHOEBE
(bitterly)
Don't need to hear how else we've
fucked the world.
She drapes her wet towel on the back of the small sofa.
Karim shakes his head with a "Tt" - unmindful of her casual
nudity - and picks up the towel. She digs up a baggy t-shirt
from her 'wardrobe' on the floor ("Strike a Pose" - Madonna)
and, still bottomless, pulls that over her head. While Karim
goes to hang her towel in the bathroom, Phoebe grabs a Coke
from the fridge, and pulls up a window. It shrieks in its
rickety frame.
EXT. FIRE ESCAPE - CONTINUOUS
Phoebe carefully tugs the bottom of her t-shirt over her
bare ass to sit on the rusted fire escape. The haze presses
down, fuzzing the cityscape spread before her. Karim comes
to the window, holding a packet of frozen chapati to his
forehead.
PHOEBE
You really going up to DC?
KARIM
It's called the Million Man March,
Feebs - gotta do my part to make the
numbers. Take a stance.
PHOEBE
Yeah well I got a bad feeling about
it. How d'you know things won't turn
ugly.
KARIM
(sighs)
Gotta do my part.
(beat)
Feebs. When... if... we have kids, is
this the world you wanna leave'm?
They remain in silence for awhile.
PHOEBE
Mohan's wife, the three of you went
to Berkeley together?
KARIM
Stacy.
PHOEBE
Yeah. Her. Stacy. She's pregnant,
right?
KARIM
Yeah. Maybe. Or they're trying. I
haven't.
PHOEBE
Another couple gambling there will be
a future.
Below, a car alarm goes off, ragged and exhausted like
everything else. Phoebe stands. Karim reaches out his hand
to help her in.
MATCH CUT TO:
INT. APARTMENT - NIGHT
Phoebe and Karim standing at the small sink. She's in the
same t-shirt, sweat rings under her arms. He's down to a
singlet and boxers. She's washing, he's drying. Karim hands
her back a fork.
KARIM
Yo, there's rice between the tines.
She snatches the fork from his hand and throws it back into
the water.
PHOEBE
(imitates his voice)
"Between the tines" - Jesus who the
fuck talks like that.
Karim raises his hands in protest.
KARIM
I was just- why you gotta react like
that, always?
They finish washing up. Phoebe sits back down at the wobbly
table, cleared now but for an empty bottle, and a filled
ashtray. She lights a cigarette. Karim makes a face, reaches
for a new bottle.
PHOEBE
Put that back. I don't want anymore.
KARIM
Well I do. And you should.
(under his breath)
Make you less mean.
PHOEBE
What? I'm a big old meanie now?
Because I point out that you use
anatomically correct terms for a
fork? C'mon - it's funny, you talk
like a robot.
KARIM
Like a-
(shakes head)
Nemmind, you just proved my point.
PHOEBE
Wow. Wish I'd done years of Debate
Club. Just so I can conclude my
argument with-
(in plummy accent)
-I rest my case.
Karim wrestles with the wine opener, cuts his thumb on the
sharp foil.
KARIM
Goddammit!
(mumbles with thumb
in mouth)
Debate Club...
Pours himself a glass, and keeps pouring.
PHOEBE
I see - this is how debaters prove
their point, with a triple serving of
Shiraz. I'm going to have another
shower - just don't bleed all over my
mum's tablecloToo late, Karim clumsily sets the bottle down over the cork.
It rolls, and falls, glugging out wine.
Phoebe leaps to her feet, her chair skitters backward. The
glass front of their cabinet shatters.
FADE TO BLACK
ON BLACK
V.O. CONT'D
KARIM
What the fuck!
PHOEBE
You're blaming me?!
SOUND FADES
2 people like this
Hi, Kseniia Zhuravleva. I keep the budget in mind from the start (during outlining). One location/a few locations, small cast, no pets/one pet, etc....
Expand commentHi, Kseniia Zhuravleva. I keep the budget in mind from the start (during outlining). One location/a few locations, small cast, no pets/one pet, etc.
3 people like this
It depends on your knowledge/experience. The average un-produced writer is understandably going to struggle to know what does and doesn't cause issues.
Generally speaking though:
Fewer characters
Fewer l...
Expand commentIt depends on your knowledge/experience. The average un-produced writer is understandably going to struggle to know what does and doesn't cause issues.
Generally speaking though:
Fewer characters
Fewer locations
Some stuff you just can't predict. I had a director hooked on the idea of two characters jumping into a lake. Seemingly simple. Then came SAG rules with stunt coordinators, stand ins, divers, and additional insurances.
Keep this in mind too. Producers are reading scripts as organic documents. Nothing is seen as permanent. Experienced ones will be considering ways to keep costs down and production value up while they read.
2 people like this
Thanks, I’m probably more worried about the cramped spaces, just like you said. It’s obvious that I need to write about two people in a room, not a whole new planet.
But sometimes there are complexiti...
Expand commentThanks, I’m probably more worried about the cramped spaces, just like you said. It’s obvious that I need to write about two people in a room, not a whole new planet.
But sometimes there are complexities where you don’t expect them. Plus, I write horror, and that’s probably my problem: I need CGI or a costume in almost every script :(
1 person likes this
What about a Psychological Contained Horror, Kseniia Zhuravleva? Less/no CGI and costumes.
1 person likes this
I have produced 22 hours with no-budget films, including 3 TV movies. One quickly gets used to writing for situations where there is no money. If you don't want to join your local group with no-budget...
Expand commentI have produced 22 hours with no-budget films, including 3 TV movies. One quickly gets used to writing for situations where there is no money. If you don't want to join your local group with no-budget filmmakers (to learn from their work), one alternative is that you join your local amateur theatre, because many have learned in that way.